


Fashions Fade, Love's Eternal

by ChildOfTheRevolution



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, Depression, Derek has issues communicating, F/M, Fashion Photographer Stiles, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, Jacksons a supermodel, Kate is horrible., M/M, Magazine AU, Mental Illness, Mentions of past abuse, Stiles can pick em, begrudging model Derek, lil bit o' angst, ok so quite a bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-14
Updated: 2013-03-28
Packaged: 2017-11-29 06:39:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 28,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/683967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChildOfTheRevolution/pseuds/ChildOfTheRevolution
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pack Mentality is widely considered the new frontier in mens fashion magazines rivaling GQ itself. Head photographer, Stiles Stilinksi, is out scouting for new models when he meets Derek Hale. Shenanigans (also angst) ensue as Stiles attempts to simultaneously emotionally unravel and woo the surly, reluctant model.</p><p>"Laura sounded majorly pissed off. And Stiles couldn't help but think 'What the hell was it with him and the Hale siblings? Was it some kind of cosmic joke? Did he somehow spite the magnificent house of Hale in another life? Why? Why couldn’t he catch a break.'<br/>Stiles was being overdramatic, he knew that. He tended to do that when he was stressed, or overtired or hopelessly crushing on someone who would never, in a million years, like him back. Depressingly he was gone three for three; the odds weren't looking good."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1: A boy should be two things: classy and fabulous

**Author's Note:**

> Don't own the characters or anything! Got a bit inspired when i saw Dylan O'Brien in glasses, seriously though guys, that's all it takes and I'm off writing a sterek au with magazines and models and fashion photographer stiles! Have fun :)

‘You’re very pretty’ Stiles blurted out to the broad shouldered back of the guy who was waiting in line in front of him at Starbucks.

‘What?’ growled the man, who had turned around and now levelled him with a stare, a very scary stare.

Stiles gulped, he hadn’t meant for it to just come out like that but to be fair, he was incredibly gorgeous and Stile’s desperately needed incredibly gorgeous, right now, or Lydia would have his balls in a vice.

‘Um I mean, aesthetically pleasing to the eye.’ He cleared his throat desperately trying to remember Scott’s advice on how to scout talent without sounding creepy, ‘and I was wondering whether you would bemaybeionterestedinmodellingforme.’ The rest came out in a rush and Stiles inwardly cringed, he sounded like he was asking him to the Yule Ball, he almost expected the guy to turn him down for a Hufflepuff named Cedric. 

Stiles tried to maintain eye contact with the incredibly intense eyes that were now looking at him incredulously. He failed, preferring to study his custom made Pantone 2955 C converse. Yeah being a fashion photographer certainly had its perks.

‘Modelling?’ the guy said, raising an eyebrow. Stiles sighed in awe that was really beyond sexy. He desperately needed this guy, not just because he was short on models for this week’s shoots, but because Stiles had a certain gut feeling about these things. If he was honest he could just hire another model from the books and save him lots of trouble but there was something about this certain guy and to be honest? It was this innate ability to spot perfect models that got Lydia to hire him, green gilled, fresh from college in the first place. 

Pack Mentality, had made its name on the back of male modelling superstar Jackson Whittemore, who Stiles had personally picked off the streets when the magazine had been struggling to start up and needed new, and cheap, models. And seriously who was better than a washed up ex- high school lacrosse player with a bad attitude and cheekbones that could cut steel? Lydia had almost fired him on the spot when he had pointed him out. But he had persisted and when sales of their first edition had shot through the roof he had been given a raise, a new office and a new job description: head photographer.

That cover page which had featured an almost nude Jackson save for a pair of black leather Armani shoes, in profile, silhouetted against a full moon had become a phenomenon, instantly deemed a classic, alongside Rolling Stones’ nude John Lennon and Yoko Ono and the nude pregnant Demi Moore. They had named it the wolf. And this was all despite the fact that Jackson wasn’t even famous. Well he wasn’t back then anyway. 

His name had soon become synonymous with men’s high class fashion and supermodel-dom. The picture itself had been hailed genius and Pack Mentality after only a year of being out had soon started rivalling the likes of GQ. 

The thing was, looks wise, Jackson hadn’t really been anything special, sure he was better looking than 99% of every other guy on the planet but as a model he was pretty aesthetically middle range. The thing that made him so popular and swooned over was a certain x factor, something that couldn’t be seen as much as felt. 

Where most models tried to sell you things through the ads that featured them, Jackson made you want whatever he was wearing, by a wry smile on his face, a purse of his lips or a lean to his face. He was one in a million. And Stiles could feel it again now with Starbucks guy. He had gotten that jolt in his stomach when he had first seen him and it hadn’t been the stubble, although fashionably roguish, or cutting cheekbones or the broody eye brows, it had been the eyes. Indecisive in their colour but incredibly captivating nonetheless. 

Stiles had to have him.  
…As his model, of course.

‘Um yeah, modelling.’ Stiles finally produced, mouth deciding to work after what seemed like a millennium.

Starbucks guy let his eyes drift down Stiles’ body and Stiles instantly felt his face flush, he was dressed today, his first day off in god knows how long, in a ratty t-shirt which said ‘Stud Muffin’ and had been a birthday present from when he was eighteen and his oldest, softest pair of jeans. He was wearing his glasses today because contacts were a bother and he hadn’t brushed his hair. Not to mention the Tardis blue converse on his feet. He looked about sixteen, and wasn’t at all surprised when Starbucks guy opened his mouth to turn him down.

‘Look before you say no, we offer very reasonable rates and it wouldn’t be for very long and it’s not like you ever have to do it again if you don’t like it and you don’t have to be nude if you don’t want to.’ Oops, that last bit had kind of slipped out and Stiles blushed again god dammit. He was surrounded by gorgeous guys every day, why was he acting like this now?

Starbucks guy wasn’t big on talking Stiles could tell and he looked like he was going to turn him down, again. 

Stiles cursed under his breath, ‘Ok, look just take this’, he said as and grabbed his messenger bag and groped around until he found it, his card.

‘Here, this is our card, Pack Mentality, see? Um give me a call if you want to do it. Model! Model I mean, not anything else. Um unless you want to because I am totally up for… I mean, look forget I said anything. There’s my card and there’s my name, Stiles Stilinski, call me if you want to come. Um want to come model. For me.’ 

And with that, one last fleeting look at those gorgeous eyes which were now staring at his card, Stiles fled, almost knocking over a display of coffee beans in his wake.


	2. Bowties are cool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny was very beautiful with his tan and his muscles and his dimples but now that Stiles had fixated on it all he wanted for tomorrow was dark haired pale, with beautiful eyes and broody eyebrows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2nd chapter - have fun :)

‘For Christ sake Stiles, just call someone! The shoots tomorrow and if I hear you waxing lyrical about Starbucks coffee guys eyes one more time I am going to fire you. He hasn’t called and we need somebody. Fast.’

Stiles groaned, clutching the phone to his ear. It had been three days since the Starbucks guy incident and he hadn’t called and now Stiles had to call someone else. Probably Danny, but he didn’t want Danny, Danny wouldn’t fit the shot right. I mean technically he would be fine, Danny was very beautiful with his tan and his muscles and his dimples but now that Stiles had fixated on it all he wanted for tomorrow was dark haired pale, with beautiful eyes and broody eyebrows. 

‘Yeah I know, thanks Lydia. But this guy you know? He was it. I swear he was what this magazine needs now. I mean Jacksons awesome and all that but we’ve ridden his tail for a year now, we need something that’s going to differentiate us from GQ. Jackson too GQ, perfect for us when we started but it’s time for us to do our thing, be original.’  
‘I know Stiles. One magazine cover isn’t enough to keep us in circulation, but for now we need stability. Great if the guy rings you, but we can’t cancel the shoot just because you don’t have the right model.’

‘Yeah, I’ll give Danny’s agent a call; see if he can come in.’ 

And with that he hung up. Lydia was right, but so was he, in a way. Pack Mentality had to be different and if they kept showing the same pretty perfect guys as GQ they were going to get swept along as another copycat. They needed new and originality. Hell even tomorrows shoot was completely different than anything they had ever done before, save for that ‘classic’ cover.

Stiles had planned it to be at night and it was supposed to be full moon and creepy and awesome and Stiles had found a perfect spot in the forest and Starbucks guy would have been awesome in it. But he wasn’t going to call, he just knew it. And that annoyed Stiles a little bit more then it probably should. It wasn’t just his gut that told him this guy was perfect or the way his features were beautiful without seeming too boyish, I mean they were great and all but he was a total enigma. Stiles didn’t even know his first name yet he had been obsessing over him ever since to the point that Scott, his best friend, groaned every time he heard the word Starbucks and refused coffee from there on the grounds of ‘my ears will start to bleed if I hear one more metaphor describing his indescribable eye colour.’

Allison said that Stiles needed to get laid. Which was probably true too, he could count on one hand, hell one finger the amount of times he had gotten laid over the past year. It had been a bit of a dry patch. More like a drought since college. 

‘When he calls and after you do the shoot with him why don’t you sleep with Starbucks guy?’

Stiles gaped at his best friend and assistant, ‘There are so many things wrong with that sentence Scott. Firstly he’s probably not going to call, secondly even if he did do the shoot, which he won’t, there’s no telling whether he’s gay, he’s probably straight and has a stick thin gorgeous Russian girlfriend who pronounces things really cutely and who I can never even begin to compete with. And thirdly this guy is so far out of my league he’s not even in the same universe as me. He’s like the sun and I’m so pluto dude. I don’t even get the general classification of a planet next to him. And lastly you don’t just sleep with this guy, you don’t. He’s like a work of art, made to be worshipped, photographed but not just slept with.’ 

Scott had just rolled his eyes. Stiles ignored him. Dammit he really wanted Starbucks guy, but it looked like he wasn't getting him.

However just as he was about to ring Deaton, Danny’s agent, Stiles’ phone rang. He sighed, fully expecting more berating from Lydia when he answered with a defeated, ‘Hey.’

‘Stiles Stilinski?’ said an unfamiliar woman voice.

‘Speaking’ He said warily, it hadn’t happened a lot but sometimes he got the odd weirdo or desperate model on his line begging to be shot for PM. Most memorably had been a guy named Matt back when they first started who had become quite the stalker after being turned down at an interview. Stiles had overridden Lydia, his gut had told him the guy was bad news which he totally turned out to be, as he had taken to calling Stiles every few hours, threatening bodily harm if Stiles didn’t hire him. It lasted until his father, the sheriff, convinced Stiles to get a restraining order and change his number.

‘Hey Stiles, I’m Laura Hale.’

‘Um, hi Laura’

Obviously expecting him to know who she was he could hear an exasperated sigh on the end of the phone and then a muffled ‘You didn’t even introduce yourself?’ and then someone replying petulantly, ‘he talked so fast I didn’t get a word in edgeways,’

Stiles jaw dropped, he knew that surly voice, and he’d know it anywhere.

‘STARBUCKS GUY! I mean, um Starbucks guy’s girlfriend?’

There was a laugh from Laura Hale, ‘His sister actually, so Pack Mentality huh?’

Stiles cleared his throat, he had to do this, he had to be convincing, and he desperately needed Starbucks guy.

‘Yep, respected men’s fashion magazine, voted second only after GQ , run by the estimable Lydia Martin and springboard for fashion megastar Jackson Whittemore.’

Laura laughed, ‘Well you certainly sell yourself well, you’re a photographer right?’

‘Head photographer’ He confirmed, biting his lip.

‘Well my brothers named Derek.’ YES! He had a name, finally. 

‘And the only reason I’m calling on his behalf is because his pretty shy ok? I practically had to bully him into giving me your number, but I’m sure he’d love to do it.’ She said as even he heard to distant yet long suffering sigh of someone used to getting bossed around by their bigger sisters.

Stiles gave himself a fist-pump. He was going to get his epic shoot! This was going to be awesome.

After exchanging the times and location of his shoot to Laura and subsequently Derek, Stiles shot off a quick text to Lydia saying only two words.

Got him.


	3. “It's not a concert you are seeing, it's a fashion show.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles was uncharacteristically nervous when he arrived at the shoot at about 7.30 pm the next day and he wasn’t sure why. Was it because he couldn’t stop obsessing over Derek Hale and was afraid he was going to embarrass himself completely in front of him, again? Maybe. Was it because he had just placed the responsibility of a very expensive shoot onto the shoulders of an amateur, an amateur who possibly couldn’t model to save himself? Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so finally some sterek interaction and there will be more in coming chapters! Hold Strong and thanks for sticking with me :) you guys rock.

Stiles was uncharacteristically nervous when he arrived at the shoot at about 7.30 pm the next day and he wasn’t sure why. Was it because he couldn’t stop obsessing over Derek Hale and was afraid he was going to embarrass himself completely in front of him, again? Maybe. Was it because he had just placed the responsibility of a very expensive shoot onto the shoulders of an amateur, an amateur who possibly couldn’t model to save himself? Probably.

Stiles needed to deal with his stupid obsession and get into professional mode that because hello, he was a male fashion photographer, he was supposed to be able to shoot the hottest guys on the planet, Derek Hale shouldn’t be any different. But he was. He knew it, Scott knew it, hell even dragon lady Lydia herself knew it. But regarding modelling, he knew he was right about this, his gut was telling him Derek Hale had what it took to become really big and he didn’t intend for his not so subtle feelings (lust? Urges to worship the ground in front of him? Possibly tearing his clothes off and climbing him like a tree the moment he saw him?) to get in the way.

Stiles swallowed down his nerves and got stuck into the construction of the shoot. They were doing a kind of Beauty and the Beast/Cinderella theme. Cliched, he knew, but it was pretty rare for it to be so authentic. The set guys were currently constructing an outdoor balcony which overlooked a valley type area and had a perfect view of the horizon and consequently the moon. And that was pretty cool. Plus it was only going to be Derek, no Cinderella, or maybe Derek was Cinderella/Belle (Does that make him the beast or Prince Charming? Stiles wondered, than stomped on the ideas as soon as they came. No, that’s not going to happen. Ever). 

He tended not to plan it a lot in his shoots these days, just a vague outline or theme to work with and then the rest just came. Sometimes the best shots came from spontaneity and spontaneity had become the hallmark of Stiles’ work. Once he was meant to be shooting a very seductive, sexy piece, in an old decrepit house on the outskirts of town with Jackson. Jackson, who had been smouldering at the camera and suggestively tilting his hips, basically doing everything right, wasn’t cutting it and Stiles hadn’t really been feeling the shoot much, something about it had been off. It had been saved, however, when it was interrupted by a stray dog wandering on set. Jackson, uncharacteristically, stopped in the middle of a shoot and called the dog over and started rubbing its belly and playing with it. Sensing something remarkable, shot wise, Stiles’ had kept snapping pictures using the wonderful dichotomy that worked with Jackson in a pair of dark jeans on the old landing of a once majestic mansion playing unselfconsciously with this stray dog.

The pictures had turned out beautifully, the clients had loved them. The money shot had been of Jackson smiling, half in profile half turned toward the camera, sun streaming through the large archaic windows lighting the up dogs yellow fur and the glint in Jackson’s eyes.

If Stiles’ first ‘wolf’ cover had been christened as a classic, then this photo-shoot surely cemented PM as a mainstay and a real contender in the world of men’s fashion magazines.

The dog, named Greenburg, was now a resident at Jackson’s palatial apartment, growing chubbier by the day because Jackson couldn’t resist giving him treats. Stiles shook his head, he still couldn’t believe Jackson had a dog and a stray one at that! Though to be perfectly fair Greenburg was totally gorgeous and absolutely adored Jackson. He had become somewhat of a mascot, constantly underfoot at shoots and getting into mischief. Stiles lamented the absence of him here today watching as the balcony was finally finished and set upon by the set and props people.

Stiles went back to his trailer where Scott had assembled his cameras.

‘So you’re once again staking to future of the magazine on a new guy?’ Scott asked as he methodically laid out every one of Stiles camera even though Stiles seldom used any except his favourite.

Stiles grimaced, ‘Not you too Scott. Everyone’s doubting me on this one. It’s going to be fine, trust me, this guy may never have modelled in his life but he’s absolute gold.’

Scott’s eyes widened at something in the window over Stiles’ shoulder, ‘If that’s him, then he’s definite gold. Totally worth obsessing over except the fact that he looks kinda angry.’

Stiles whirled around sure enough there was Derek Hale, looking better in the flesh then in his fantasies (of perfect photo shoots of course). He was wearing practically the same outfit as the other day with a slightly different leather jacket, which was encouraging for someone like Stiles, who worked in fashion. There was also an attractive woman with him, and if she didn’t sport a feral grin she could be his female equivalent of a doppelganger. 

That must be Laura. Stiles was only slightly scared as he stepped out of the trailer and walked to meet them, but it was a good scared, like the scared he felt around Lydia. Stiles inwardly shuddered, Laura and Lydia? That was a frightening thought accompanied immediately by another suggesting they never, ever, meet. 

Stiles held out a hand and gripped her slightly firmer red taloned one.

‘Hey! You must be Laura, nice to meet you in the flesh, I’m Stiles Stilinski.’

Laura’s eyes widened as she took him in, glancing back at Derek. ‘My my. Derek didn’t tell me how cute you were.’

Stiles flushed and peeped at Derek who had shrugged and then scowled. Stiles’ thoughts immediately went into overdrive (Did that mean he thought Stiles was cute? Nope, not going there, not now, not ever) Stiles was a professional and professionals didn’t lust after their models (ok some did, but not Stiles. Stiles worked in an entirely lust free zone). Then he remembered the way he had looked in Starbucks when they first met (glasses, unwashed hair, scummy t-shirt), Stiles grimaced and turned to face Laura, ‘Ah well last we met I may have looked like I was about 16 and I did talk rather fast.’

Laura laughed, flashing shiny white teeth, ‘Well you should thank me Stiles Stilinksi. I practically had to drag him out here today. Saying that he doesn’t want to come today would be an understatement.’

Stiles frowned, ‘Not that I’m complaining or anything, not at all, he’s perfect’, Laura’s eyebrow lifted and she shot his an amused grin, ‘…for the shoot of course, professionally’ he hastily continued, flustered, ‘but why are you so insistent he model for me? I mean I do need him, but why the wrangling?’

Laura looked amused eyeing him speculatively, ‘Professionally. Right’ she said, eyeing Stiles blush and then rolled her eyes, ‘Well Derek here needs a reason to get out of the house because he can’t seem to get over a nasty bre-‘

‘Laura!’ Derek had barked from behind her eyes widening is alarm.

Laura turned to glare at him, ‘Fine, have your secrets, it’s not mine to tell anyway, but you are staying here and doing this, I’m putting my foot down.’ 

He rolled his eyes at her and she persisted, ‘For god’s sake Derek put those Hale looks to work for once.’ She said matching his scowl with a pretty fierce one of her own until finally throwing her hands in the air exasperated, ‘Hell, you might even like it!’

Derek glared even harder, throwing Stiles a look and starting to argue quietly with her.

Stiles tuned out as they bickered. He had the feeling that this was a regular thing for these too, Laura seemingly able to read volumes in the scowls of Derek’s face and Derek looking increasingly harassed by his sisters ministrations until, finally, he caved, muttering , ‘Fine, I’ll do it’.

Laura beamed at Stiles and Stiles let out a sigh of relief. Derek may be begrudging and surly and constantly scowling but he’d forgive him a thousand sins to get photograph him. And now he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... do you recon Derek has what it takes? Or has Stiles made a huge mistake?


	4. When in doubt, wear red.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He could do that now, he wasn’t that same nervous, hyperactive spaz that he was in high school, he could be professional.  
> Except for the fact that in the face of Derek, Stiles’ body decided it was sixteen again. He was just grateful he hadn’t sported an awkward boner in front of him. 
> 
> Yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stiles and Derek and Laura and a splash of Allison. Have fun.

‘Brilliant! Derek, come through this way to the fittings trailer.’ Stiles motioned, leading the way toward the three trailers set up in the car park. Not looking to see if he was following, because he knew if he did, he’d trip, or flail or do something horrifically embarrassing the likes of which hadn’t been seen since his high school days. 

And Derek made him feel like a high schooler, in fact Derek made him feel like the time he had a four year long crush on Danny, once a friend and then the eventual captain of the lacrosse team at Beacon Hills High.

He did feel and had felt giddy, excited, but also excruciatingly horrible and useless for having feelings for someone so incredibly gorgeous but so incredibly unattainable at the same time. He wasn’t alone in his crush, however, everyone had loved Danny. 

Completely unattainable, that seemed to be his type if his awe-inspired crush on Lydia Martin was to be examined. Though it couldn’t really be called a crush, more like a healthy respect bordering on worship/being scared shitless almost every time he was in her presence. But if his reaction to Laura Hale was anything to go by, Lydia Martin wasn’t the only strong, confident, slightly crazy female he reacted like that to. However Stiles was the more the ‘love from afar’ crusher. He didn’t think he spoke one word to Danny in all the time he was at school (at least things were different now that Danny practically works for him, the crush still there but workable). He intended to try and rectify that, the whole not speaking to crushes thing, at least with Derek. And he could do that now, he wasn’t that same nervous, hyperactive spaz that he was in high school, he could be professional. Except for the fact that in the face of Derek, Stiles’ body decided it was sixteen again. He was just grateful he hadn’t sported an awkward boner in front of him. 

Yet.

Swallowing back the memories of a frankly very confusing and embarrassing time in his life he continued to speak, still not looking at Derek, ‘We’re doing full tuxedo tonight, then maybe a casual suit and finally, hopefully some jeans or something? I don’t really know. The people in wardrobe will let me know what looks good on you.’

Derek grunted his assent, Stiles was pleased to see (hear?) that Derek was following him.

Stiles jumped at Laura’s voice behind them (he had, unforgivably, completely forgotten about her in the wake of the examination of his apparent ‘crush’).  
‘Alright Derek! I’ll leave you to it. I’ll take the Camaro and Stiles here can certainly give you a lift home after the shoot. Have fun boys!’ Laura called already halfway into the car, throwing a sly grin to Stiles over her shoulder and zooming off before they could respond.

Stiles stopped and gaped after her.

Derek glared at car roaring off and then caught Stiles’ eyes, his features shifting to a look of discomfort. He idly shifted his feet, ‘Sorry about her, uh she’s a bit like that. If you don’t want to take me home, you don’t have to. I can walk.’

‘Walk?’ Stiles asked, a little weakly, watching as Derek scuffed his shows on the loose gravel. 

‘Walk.’ Derek confirmed glancing down at his feet.

Stiles recovered, shaking himself when he fully realized what Derek had said, ‘Oh my god! No, no, of course I want to, I mean that’s totally not a problem dude! Walk? Seriously?’

Derek smiled a little and god forbid Stiles thought he’d died and gone to heaven. Smiling and Derek were a lethal combination, one he was so willing to exploit in the nearest future. 

Professionally, of course (or not said the sneaky voice at the back of him mind).

Clearing his throat Stiles returned Derek’s smile with a goofy one of his own, ‘Um well that’s settled then! I Stiles Stilinski will take you Derek Hale home this evening. It’s a definite plan.’

Stiles quickly turned back around, hiding the blush that had crept up his face at seeing Derek smile for the first time, clearing his throat and trying to ignore the butterflies in his tummy, ‘And here,’ he said motioning toward the open trailer where the wardrobes people were frantically working, ‘The wardrobes trailer. With the awesomely fabulous Allison in charge’ 

Allison, head of wardrobes at Pack Mentality, smiled at Stiles and widened her eyes at Derek, Stiles laughed a little at her reaction; he was used to being underestimated, even by his friends.

‘Told you he was perfect.’ He said, if a little smugly.

Allison laughed, squinting at Stiles and then back to Derek, raising her eyebrows, ‘Well you certainly know how to pick ‘em Stiles, I’ll give you that. But can he model?’

Stile affected a look of mock outrage, gesturing expansively to Derek, who, once again looked exceedingly uncomfortable under their scrutiny, ‘Darling when you look as good as Derek you don’t need to know how to model. Seriously though, look at him, he’s a total natural!’

Allison laughed again, used to Stiles’ ministrations, ‘Well Derek, my names Allison. I’m going to measure and prod you a little but I’ll try and make it as pain free as possible’.

Derek nodded and followed her into the trailer, eyes which looked a little terrified, catching Stiles’. Stiles beamed assuredly back at him, his smile firmly staying in place until Derek had disappeared behind racks of clothing.

The moment Derek disappeared; the smile was gone replaced with a look of increasing alarm. Derek obviously hated attention, any kind and good models had to crave it. And Stiles, the idiot, had assumed that with a face like Derek’s he would like it? Or at least be used to it. Derek, however, looked like the kind of person who found it physically painful to be looked at, scrutinized or noticed in any way. 

The way he held himself, the stiff line of his shoulders and his scowl and the shifting of his eyes might fool some into believing he was confident, assured. Stiles, though, had enough experience in masks to know when someone was using one. The thing that really irked him is that he didn’t know why Derek felt the need to mask and what annoyed him even more he didn’t know why he cared so much.

Stiles sighed, his gut had never steered him wrong but was he wrong about Derek? He would just have to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now i know that I promised you guys we would see if Derek was a complete failwolf or a natural at modelling but I promise that's coming up :)


	5. Style is a simple way of saying complicated things.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek emerged from the wardrobe trailer half an hour later dressed in a gorgeously fitted tuxedo. Stiles almost had a conniption at the sight of him, seriously though, could someone be considered too handsome? Like physically so perfect that they shouldn’t exist because that’s how Derek looked right then, minus the scowl and the way he kept uncomfortably tugging at his sleeves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter five up early! Lucky you guys! Enjoy :)

Derek emerged from the wardrobe trailer half an hour later dressed in a gorgeously fitted tuxedo. Stiles almost had a conniption at the sight of him, seriously though, could someone be considered too handsome? Like physically so perfect that they shouldn’t exist because that’s how Derek looked right then, minus the scowl and the way he kept uncomfortably tugging at his sleeves.

Stiles wasn’t the only one who noticed, Erica from makeup looked like a tiger who had just spotted a gazelle and Stiles (ludicrously) felt an insane urge to protect Derek. He knew for a fact Erica only wanted to be a makeup artist because she wanted to bang models, male or otherwise. And Stiles wasn’t letting her get her claws into Derek, not on his watch.

‘Hair and makeup then?’ Scott asked as he bounded up to Stiles, ear mic in and clipboard in hand.

Stiles eyed Erica eyeing Derek like a piece of meat and made up his mind. He shook his head, ‘Nope.’

‘But stubble!’ Scott cried looking at Stiles, scandalized that Stiles could miss such as obvious defect on Derek.

Stiles rolled his eyes, ‘Stubble is good.’

‘Stubble is good?’ Scott repeated doubtfully.

‘Stubble, Scott! I want stubble! The stubble remains, I need him stubilicious. The more stubblier, the better.’ Stiles confirmed reveling at Erica’s look of pure malice, directed at him. She looked like someone had just stolen her favourite toy, Stiles ignored her, she wasn’t going to get anywhere near Derek, not if he had any say in it.

‘Fine.’ Scott conceding, yelling into his mic, louder then he probably should, that they were all prepped and ready to go.

Stiles kept his distance as Derek was directed onto the balcony and he picked up his camera. He had a tripod ready but wasn’t sure whether he needed it. He usually didn’t, he liked the feeling of freedom he got with a handheld, better shots too.  
‘Ok Derek, look this way for a moment. I’m just going to take a few beginning shots. You don’t need to do anything, this is just to see how your face translates and relates with the camera.’

Derek grunted his assent and turned his brilliantly intense eyes onto Stiles (well Stiles’ camera lens). Stiles snapped about 20 shots, all from different angles, getting face on, profile, shadows, light, jawline, zoomed in, zoomed out. 

‘Scott, get over here.’ Stiles called, he liked to have second opinions on these kinds of things and Scott, like Stiles, had a brilliant eye when it came to not only models but also lighting and other effects.

Stiles felt his stomach clench as he clicked through the shots, completely agreeing with Scott’s quiet whispers of ‘Whoa, dude!’ on every second shot.

‘Jesus, fuck. It’s like Jackson all over again.’ Scott finally said after looking through all the test shots.

‘It is, but its better, its bloody better.’ Stiles answered looking up and catching Derek’s intense green eyes.

He and Scott faced back toward their crew and Stiles raised his arms in celebration, ‘Looks like we have a winner ladies and gentlemen.’ A few cheers went up and Derek looked relieved? Disappointed? It was kinda hard to tell.

He shared a smile with Allison. This was going to be a piece of cake.

It wasn’t. Despite the great head shots Derek was possibly the worst model Stiles had ever tried to work with. He was tense, constantly, he never let his shoulders relax and he moved as if he were a in a box. Jerky and irritated.

He looked uncomfortable and tended to scowl. A lot. So much so that Stile was hard pressed to find a shot without him scowling. After an hour he desperately called for a break. Everyone was feeling the stress none more so then Derek whose shoulders slumped as he collapsed, sitting on the balcony the moment Stiles called for the break. He started glaring at anyone who approached him.

Stiles was desperate. They had shots. Lots of them, but none were good or great. They were passable and passable wasn’t enough, not for a magazine hoping to set the fashion world on fire.

So he had to do the unthinkable. He called Lydia.

‘Lyds, I need help, advice, anything you can give me.’

‘Is it Starbucks guy?’ she asked, already knowing the answer.

‘Yeah. He’s definitely got the looks but his body movement and all round model-ness sucks. Big time.’

‘Well you’re the one that decided to hire an amateur ,Stiles.’ She said, sighing into the phone.

Stiles cringed, yeah, he knew.

‘Look I know Lydia but I’m desperate here. Completely. I need help, any kind of help.’

Lydia hummed, ‘Well what you need is for him to come out of his shell. I mean he’s probably very shy, hides it with his glares? He obviously hates attention and you need to make him feel comfortable. Comfortable enough, at least, to make him loosen up.’

Stiles grunted, that was so not going to happen, whatever issues Derek had were not going to be fixed in a 4 hour photo-shoot, more like therapy and Stiles was not a therapist. 

Lydia continued, ‘Either that or make him show emotion, do you know anything about him? Anything that would elicit an honest response? Because if you’re clutching at straws here that’s going to be your best bet for a money shot.’

Stiles wracked his brain, what had Laura said? She’d almost mentioned a breakup and Derek had gotten jumpy. Oh shit. Stiles felt dirty just for thinking it. Could he bring it up? Angry Derek would make a brilliant shot, especially against the full moon backdrop. Defensive Derek would be good too, so would sad Derek. So would any type of emotion really.

Stiles braced himself, thanked Lydia and hung up. He needed to do this. He needed his shot. The whole shoot was now resting on Stiles ability to somehow make Derek emote. And Stiles had a plan, a horrible, horrible plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh! Whats Stiles planning? and why does he feel so guilty about it?


	6. People Don't Respond to Melancholy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Jesus Allison, did I push him too far?’ Stile asked desperately as he flicked through the images he had taken, Allison nodded mutely and Stiles flinched when came across the last picture he had taken before Derek had ran off. The look on Derek’s face had been not been one of complete and utter betrayal but guilt, overwhelming, suffocating guilt. Stile felt choked just looking at it. 
> 
> This wasn’t modelling, this was art.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 :) Enjoy - and please don't hate Stiles too much, he had his reasons for what he did!  
> Also this ones a bit longer then usual so have fun.  
> Oh and there's angst and mentions of Kate in this chapter.

‘Hours up.’ Stiles called to his crew, watching guiltily as Derek hauled himself from where he had been sitting and moved toward the balcony once more.

Stiles made a quick prayer, asking for forgiveness. He wasn’t sure if it was ethnical but dammit he needed his shot.

As everyone got back in place and he picked up his camera a little unsteadily, Allison watched with a raised eyebrow. Allison was going to hate him for this.

‘Ok Derek I want you leaning against the balcony, looking toward the valley. Yep that’s it.’

Stiles took a deep breath, ‘Now I don’t want a scowl this time Derek, I want an expression, I want to see you think about something happy. Your sister? No, um how about the gym? Yes, that’s it. Think about the gym and muscles and working out. That’s good, we like that. Ok so now I want sad. A pet dying perhaps? Orphaned children in Africa?’

Derek complied, looking slightly less scowly than usual. That was progress at least.

These pictures were good but Stiles needed more, he took a deep breath and continued as casually as possible, ‘A bad breakup? A horrible ex-girlfriend/boyfriend perhaps?’

The air seemed to still as a cloud of emotion cut across Derek’s profile in a second, all anyone could hear was the intense snapping of Stiles camera. He couldn’t not get these shots; these shots were the best they had gotten all night. 

He was bust congratulating himself with his genius, still snapping when suddenly Derek had gone, stomping into the woods, ripping his absurdly expensive jacket off and thrusting it into a stunned Scott’s hands as he did.

Stiles gaped after him as Allison came up to stand beside him.

‘Jesus Allison, did I push him too far?’ Stile asked desperately as he flicked through the images he had taken, Allison nodded mutely and Stiles flinched when came across the last picture he had taken before Derek had ran off. The look on Derek’s face had been not been one of complete and utter betrayal but guilt, overwhelming, suffocating guilt. Stile felt choked just looking at it. 

This wasn’t modelling, this was art.

It was then he knew he had made a huge mistake.

‘Oh Allison, I went too far. What am I supposed to do now?’

‘To save the shoot?’ Allison asked sharply.

‘What?’ Stile asked abruptly, suddenly remembering there were people all around him and that he was actually at work and that Derek and him weren’t the only two people in the world.

‘No, Allison, what am I supposed to do about Derek.’  
Allison expression softened and she nudged him, ‘You should probably go after him, Stiles. The guy has issues, he probably needs to know someone wants to go after him, if you know what I mean.’

Stiles nodded distractedly, oblivious to the stares of his crew and Scott’s yell of ‘Stiles, where are you going’, as he followed what he assumed had been Derek’s path into the woods.

***

‘Derek!’ Stiles called out, puffed after walking/running/tripping through the woods for ten minutes.

‘Derek! I’m sorry! I’m really sorry!’ Stiles yelled as he stumbled over a fallen log, catching himself on his hands, which were now badly scraped.

When he looked up he saw Derek, standing, motionless in a small clearing. The moon lighting one side of his body, his bowtie was missing and his sleeves folded halfway up his impressive forearms. Stiles discreetly grabbed his camera and snapped one picture.

‘Derek?’ he said quietly, not wanting to spook him.

Derek broke out of his trance to look at Stiles and Stiles held his breath, Derek’s face was so open and vulnerable and sad. Stiles had never seen anyone look so sad in his life and it made him want to cry that he had been the one to put that expression there. He knew he shouldn’t have done it now, his gut had told him not too and now he’d ruined everything.

‘Christ, what happened to you?’ he said quietly as he walked forwards slowly, arms outstretched palms facing forward, the way you would approach a wounded animal, which Derek was, in a way.

Derek didn’t answer, he just looked at Stiles and then he collapsed onto the ground, like something inside him broke. 

He was sitting with his legs outstretched and his face hanging between his knees and Stiles followed suit, sitting down next to him, close enough to touch but away enough do that Derek had space.

Stiles sat there with him for a few minutes before Derek started speaking, voice slightly raw and rusty with disuse.

‘You’ve hurt your hands.’ 

Stiles startled a little and looked down at his palms which were dark with drying blood, ‘Oh yeah. It’s nothing, habit of clumsy people.’ He said, attempting to hide them

Stiles heart started racing stupidly when Derek gently held onto them, thumbs brushing across the scrapes.

‘You didn’t look clumsy when you were photographing me there this evening.’

Stiles eye widened, he didn’t think Derek had been paying him much attention and he blushed, ‘It’s different when I work. I’m so into it that I forget everything else and my instinct takes over.’

‘Passionate.’ Derek murmured, thumbs now tracing patterns on the delicate skin on Stiles’ wrist. Stiles felt like his skin was on fire, with every touch of Derek’s fingers his heart beat faster and goose bumps appeared. It was awesome and excruciating all at the same time and Stiles never wanted it to stop.

Stiles swallowed loudly and that seemed to break Derek out of his stupor and he dropped Stiles’ hands like they were hot coals. Stiles tried his best to hide the crushing disappointment he felt at not having Derek touching him in such an intimate way.

Derek cleared his throat, eyes looking up at the moon. All moody angles and beautiful eyes and Stiles had never seen anything so beautiful, so much so that he itched for his camera, but he wouldn’t break this moment, not for anything.

‘I’m sorry I reacted like that. I didn’t mean to ruin your shoot.’

Stiles sucked in a breath; this was the last thing he expected of Derek. He expected anger, spite or annoyance at the very least. What he wasn’t expecting was apologies.

If anything it made him feel even guiltier.

‘No I’m sorry Derek. I feel like a totally horrible person. I heard what your sister had said about your breakup and I used it to get what I wanted out of the shoot. I shouldn’t have pushed; it was easy to see you weren’t comfortable with it. I mean like not comfortable, at all.’ Stiles paused to take a breath, ‘And I’m really so so sorry.’

And then Derek did the most unexpected thing, he laughed. Sure it was a bitter laugh, not a happy one, but it was the first time Stiles had ever heard it and like a squirrel he hoarded the sound away, knowing he was highly unlikely to ever hear it again.

‘Stiles you have nothing to be sorry for. Normal people don’t react like a toddler having a tantrum. You didn’t even know what happened. You are not to blame.’

That made Stiles feel minutely better, ‘Tell me what did happen then.’ Stiles said quietly, not even trying to disguise the way he was watching the plains of Derek’ face in the moonlight.

Derek surprisingly nodded, and cleared his throat, ‘My ex, Kate. We had a really, really bad break up. And, ah, it’s a bit of a sore spot for me to be honest.’

Stiles knocked his shoulder into Derek’s, ‘Its ok man, breakups happen all the time. Hell Scott and Allison breakup almost every weekend like its routine. Although they haven't been together now for six months now so it might be a more permanent thing. I’ve been broken up with more than I can actually count. Breakups are very healthy.  
‘We broke up 5 years ago.’ Derek deadpanned.

Stiles grimaced a little, ‘Ah well some take a little time to get over.’ Stiles said in a half attempt to sound comforting.

‘She was crazy.’

‘All exes are crazy Derek. Hell I’ve been a crazy ex, a horribly drunk phone calling ex, stalking ex. You name it. I’ve done it’

‘No. You don’t understand.’ Derek said frustrated, rising to his feet as he started pacing.

Stiles simply watched.  
‘She had been diagnosed as clinically insane and is now currently residing in a mental institution. Which is where she’s been for the past 5 years’.

Stiles sucked in a breath. He should have known it had been something bigger than messy drunk phone calls or stalking and that frustrated him. He didn’t know why, but he found himself caught up in Derek. He was an enigma, gorgeous too but broken, almost in half. And Stiles wanted desperately to help.

However he had the feeling that if he wanted to help Derek he would have to tread carefully,

‘But Derek, it wasn’t your fault. These things happen to anybody, we can’t dwell on things we have no control over. We have to move on.’

Derek stood still for a moment before looking down, catching Stiles eyes.

Stiles gazed back; drawing in breath when he saw Derek’s eyes glittered with unshed tears and the look of complete vulnerability on his face. His mask, for once was completely stripped back.

‘You don’t understand Stiles.’ Derek said plaintively, ‘I did it. I’m the one to blame.’

‘What do you mean? What are you to blame for?’ Stiles asked, completely confused, surely Derek didn’t mean – 

‘Stiles, I made her crazy.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Derek really make Kate crazy? Or is Derek's overblown sense of guilt coming back into play? Or is the truth more sinister than that. Let me know what you guys recon :)


	7. Fashions are born and die too quickly for anyone to learn to love them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One thing, though, was clear to Stiles’ and that was that there was more to Derek’s story than a crazy ex. Stiles could see it in the way Derek tried to protect himself and whatever was in his past was dark and murky and Stiles was damned if he was going to let Derek hide from the world for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh there's trouble in paradise, again as Derek and Stiles fumble and fidget around each other. Also i might start compiling a song list at the start of chapters because i tend to listen to music a lot when I'm writing (nothing too obscure) and you can suggest songs in comments that might inspire me!  
> This chapter was inspired by Blink 182's Always.  
> Have fun and enjoy!

Stiles sighed as he drove back to his apartment groaning when he saw the time. It was 4.30 am and needed to be back in the offices by 10 to look through pictures he knew weren’t going to cut it.  
It hadn’t taken a lot to get Derek back to his car, he only had to promise that he wasn’t going to take anymore pictures of him. Derek had given him a grateful little smile when Stiles had said it and Stiles’ heart almost broke all over again.

He had discreetly texted Scott and Allison as they walked through the forest back to the clearing telling them to get everyone to pack everything up and head off. There would be no more shooting tonight.

Their replies had been instantaneous.

Scotty boy: !!!!!???!?!?!?!?!?!

Allison, light of my life: Sure thing. Don’t worry about it, Scott and I can handle it.

Stile ignored Scott and thanked Allison.

Derek had continued his silence until they got to Stile’s busted up old jeep.

‘A jeep? Really?’ he had asked with a raised eyebrow and the hint of a smile.

Stiles huffed out a surprised laugh, ‘Jeeps are an American classic Dude. Don’t knock the jeep, this baby has been there through thick and thin with me.’ Stiles paused, debating whether to continue.

‘And well, it’s not just any old jeep. I like to think of it a family heirloom. It was my mums before me and no matter how many times my dad told her it was an accident waiting to happen she still drove it.’ Stiles smiled at the memory.

Derek had looked at Stiles as if he was a puzzle to figure out and Stiles had immediately flushed under the scrutiny, he didn’t know why he was telling Derek things like this, maybe he thought he owed Derek an explanation. Hell, Derek had spilled his guts to him earlier, even though he knew it had been excruciating for him, and he owed Derek the same amount of respect. 

‘She sounds stubborn.’

Stiles had cleared his throat and proceeded to prepare himself for the familiar sick feeling as if he was suffocating which always came with any kind of discussion of his mother, curiously though, it didn’t come. And when he answered with the dreaded past tense in the affirmative Derek had looked at him sharply but didn’t push it and Stiles had almost wanted him to. Whether it was because he wanted him to or Stiles felt like punishment from Derek after the incident at the shot. He had been the one that pushed, he had been the one that had made Derek run and now Derek was awarding him the courtesy of privacy, one he didn’t feel like he deserved. 

Derek and Laura’s apartment resided in an upper-class area of the city and Stiles hadn’t been surprised. The Camaro had clued him in that the siblings sure weren’t exactly short on cash and the modelling hadn’t so much as being an exercise of doing it for the cash rather than an exercise in Laura bullying and getting her own way.

As Derek muttered a quick thanks, Stiles placed a hand on his firm arm, stopping him from leaving, ‘Look, Derek, I know it can’t be easy dealing with guilt like that, no matter how much time you have to ‘supposedly get over it’ but if you ever need to talk to anyone, well- you-can… uh you can always talk to me?’

Derek kept his eyes firmly on the pavement outside as if contemplating his escape, ‘Its ok Stiles, I’ve already ruined enough for you tonight. You don’t need to bother yourself with me, I’m a fuckup. I get it. You shouldn’t get involved with me’.

Stiles sucked in a breath, no that’s not how this was supposed to go, ‘Oh my god Derek, no its totally fine, we got usable shots. I’m just –‘ Stiles bit his lip, ‘I’m just worried about you ok? Because that reaction today? That wasn’t normal.’

Derek stilled under Stiles hand and Stiles knew it was a mistake the moment he said it.

Still not meeting Stiles eyes Derek said, in a low, controlled voice, ‘I’m not some charity case Stiles, I am not mentally deficient neither am I a child that you feel the need to coddle.’

Stiles was shocked, ‘Jesus Derek, I don’t think that at all!’

‘Well then stop pushing.’ Derek said, gritting his teeth.

‘I’m not pushing, I just think you need help, I can help you.’

‘And then what?’ Derek said with a snarl rounding on him, ‘And then I open up to you and get to ruin your life too? Like I do with everyone else’s?’

Jesus, this wasn’t going quite the way Stiles had pictured, a lot less grateful smiles and a few more glares then he was expecting.

‘I’m sorry Stiles, I shouldn’t have told you that stuff in the forest, it was private.’ Derek said shaking Stiles arm off him as he climbed out of the car, ‘Whatever you want with, from me? I’m not worth it. I’m just not worth it’.

With that he walked, hunched shoulders onto the sidewalk. 

Stiles felt like he’d been slapped. Well it was a verbal slap in a way but god he looked so lonely as he walked to what Stiles assumed was his and Laura’s apartment. Stiles almost wanted to run after him but after that? He honestly wouldn’t know what to say. Stiles had a lot of experience with self-hate but his was nothing compared to Derek’s.

One thing, though, was clear to Stiles’ and that was that there was more to Derek’s story than a crazy ex. Stiles could see it in the way Derek tried to protect himself and whatever was in his past was dark and murky and Stiles was damned if he was going to let Derek hide from the world for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AW SHIT! Poor Derek :( but poor Stiles too :( Silly boys with be silly boys though. Can they make up? Or will Stiles heed Derek's advice and stay away from him? Hmmm well its Stiles, so probably not :) - as always don't be afraid to let me know what you think, ideas, what you liked and didn't like! I'll aim to reply to an and all comments :)


	8. I'm just trying to change the world, one sequin at a time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he came to the golden image he hesitated. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted Lydia to see it or not. He knew that if she did she would have the same reaction as him and would immediately want to run it. It would make the cover easily. Except it felt a little like he was betraying Derek, letting the world see a side of himself he obviously wasn’t comfortable with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter - inspiration came in the form of 'Swing Swing' by All American Rejects (not really the lyrics - more then tone)  
> Enjoy :)

Sure he was gorgeous and mysterious and loaded Stiles thought as attempted to open his own apartment for the fifth time, shaky hands and blurry eyes preventing him from doing it like a normal person.

But he also had a boatload of issues. Anyone who believed they were the reason for a clinically insane ex being clinically insane definitely had issues. And then to be so defensive when Stiles only wanted to help? Well he may have had an ulterior motive. This was mega hot super sexy Starbucks guy after all.

However Stiles was stupidly disappointed that Derek hadn’t wanted his help, or just wanted to hang out with him. It wasn’t like Stiles was used to rejection because he was, but for some unfathomable reason he thought Derek would be different. But no, just because he wasn’t a model didn’t mean he was any less of a douchebag, not Jackson levels of course, but a stupid, messed up douchebag who Stiles may or may not have a crush on.

That was it. That was why Derek’s rejection and anger had hurt Stiles so bad and Stiles rebelled viciously against it. But it was no use. He was stuck now, crushes to Stiles were like diamonds to other people, exceedingly rare but gorgeously precious and kept, almost forever. 

Hell he was still in love with his college boyfriend, still maintained a highly imaginative crush on Danny (as previously discussed) even though they now work together on a semi regular basis, and still kinda loved Lydia Martin even though she was very scary and he was definitely not straight.

He had also stupidly wished that Derek had liked the modelling. Enjoyed? Been good at it? Took better pictures?  
Stiles had been secretly hoping he would get to see a lot more of Derek in the future. But if the images were as bad as he was expecting, Derek wouldn’t even make it to the next issue. Not that Derek would probably care now. Actually Derek would probably be overjoyed to hear that.

Stiles decided to load his images onto his laptop before going to sleep, it was kind of a ritual to him, his laptop allowed much better screen resolution thus the picture were able to be examined better.

Stiles lingered a little on the head shots. They were good. Good enough he could offer them to Derek for his portfolio if he wanted. Stiles had a feeling he wouldn’t. They weren’t fashion shots however and Stiles cringed when he looked through the first couple.

These ones were pretty crap, as he expected. Derek looked tense and uncomfortable. But as Stiles continued to scroll through something started to shift, Derek’s face started to relax, so minutely, that Stiles hadn’t realised at the time, but on closer inspection Derek’s features had become less clouded, clearer. 

Stiles tried to remember what he had been doing to inspire the change. Nothing really, just chatting endlessly as he snapped, something he had become infamous for in the fashion world. He couldn’t help it, and it helped him relax and take better shots, some models had also said it had made what possibly is a very terrifying experience into a fun one. Derek seemed to be one of them. Although he didn’t really look like he was having fun, as such, his shoulders seem to become less stiff with every frame until he actually started to look like a real model. Huh.

Stiles deliberately slowed when he came to the end of the reel, partly out of excitement and partly out of fear. These were going to be the money shots. 

And they were. The lighting was perfect and Derek’s face was incredibly emotive, moody, wonderful and perfect. These were the shots he could definitely use.

Stiles yawned, relieved, at least it hadn’t been a total disaster he thought absently as he clicked through the last of his shots.

And then, he saw it, the photograph.

At first he thought he was hallucinating or just overtired (which he was). Stiles rubbed his eyes vigorously and looked at the last shot in the reel. It had been the one he had taken when Derek hadn’t noticed him in the clearing.

And it was magnificent.

Glorious, majestic, stunning. All those adjectives seemed too tame for the image that was currently on Stiles’ screen.

It was everything and more of what he had first felt of Derek the moment he had seen him. His face, open, vulnerable and beautiful which contrasted perfectly with his stance which that of someone completely at peace. The two warring sides caught flawlessly with the half shadow moon light on half his body.

Stiles simultaneously wanted to run out onto the streets and show everyone he could find but also wanted to keep it locked away, so that only he would ever gaze upon such a beautiful intimate moment of such a man.

He knew he needed sleep but he simply made himself a coffee, sending the images though to Lydia. She would be the one who had final say, he would indicate which ones he thought worked best, but she would be the ultimate decider. 

When he came to the golden image he hesitated. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted Lydia to see it or not. He knew that if she did she would have the same reaction as him and would immediately want to run it. It would make the cover easily. Except it felt a little like he was betraying Derek, letting the world see a side of himself he obviously wasn’t comfortable with.

Stiles mouse hovered over the send button and clicked.

It was gone, there was nothing he could do about it now. Derek would just have to deal. But Stiles couldn’t ignore the feeling in his stomach that something was wrong, very wrong, with Derek Hale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! So Derek might not be a complete fail at modelling after all!! but be warned - its only get a whole lot more angsty from here on!


	9. Everything else is just decoration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah damn, it was Laura and she sounded pissed off.
> 
> Like majorly pissed off. What was it with him and the Hale siblings? Was it some cosmic joke? Did he somehow spite the magnificent house of Hale in another life? Why? Why couldn’t he catch a break. 
> 
> Stiles was being over-dramatic, he knew that. He tended to do that when he was stressed, or overtired or hopelessly crushing on someone who would never like him back. And currently the odds weren’t looking good, he was gone three for three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, so here's another chapter for today :) I really liked this one so i couldn't wait to post it!  
> Song inspiration was 'Little Talks' by Of Monsters and Men  
> As Always have fun.

3 hours sleep later and Stiles felt like a zombie. Some say that 3 hours is enough to get by on? It wasn’t, Stiles looked half dead when he entered the offices of Pack Mentality at just a little after nine the next morning, clutching his coffee like it was a lifeline, which it essentially was.

He flinched when he heard his named being yelled from Lydia’s office which occupied the top floor of the atrium.

‘STILES STILINSKI! GET YOUR BUTT UP HERE NOW.’

Stiles sighed wearily as he climbed the ornate staircase, nodding to co-workers as he went, a few winced in sympathy, Lydia only called him by his full name when she was super pissed off. 

Allison Argent was leaving Lydia’s office as he went him, she gave him a smile and a squeeze on the shoulder. For good luck, he supposed. He’d definitely need it. He clutched his coffee protectively to his chest when he entered.

‘Stiles where the hell have you been for the past 4 hours?’ Lydia, small, redheaded and undeniably vicious, said without looking up from her monitor when he came in.

‘No not you Jackson.’ She hissed into her headset. She was also a great believer in multi-tasking.

‘Uh sleeping?’ Stiles answered, it really was too early for this.

‘Sleeping? Who the hell sleeps these days’, Lydia asked as she continued to type madly, ‘No! Jesus Jackson I am not speaking to you! Keep Up!’

Stile ignored her argument with Jackson, ‘Me, I do.’

‘It was rhetorical Stiles.’ She said, finally looking up to shoot her special, ‘You’re an idiot’ face at him, usually reserved for Scott, and quickly following it up with a ‘and I am much, much smarter than you’ face, almost always reserved just for Stiles. He supposed he should feel grateful, seeing as he had his own special Lydia face. It didn’t, it usually just pissed him off.

‘So, what do you think about the shots?’ Stiles asked after a pause. 

‘Well firstly I think you’re an idiot for trusting such a big client with an absolute nobody. Secondly they were better than I was expecting and thirdly, that last picture, the one in the woods? That’s going to make Derek Hale a fucking superstar.’

Stiles cringed, he hadn’t even had thought of that when he sent the pictures. Just wanted them to be good, he didn’t want to make a guy, already dealing with so much and who he was pretty sure didn’t want to be famous, famous.

Lydia continued, ‘And I want his contacts and portfolio on my desk before lunch. As well as a face to face interview for some time later this week.’

Stiles heard an audible squawk from who he assumed was Jackson on the end of the line.

Lydia rolled her eyes into the Bluetooth headset, ‘Yes Jackson we’re talking about a new model. Yes he’s very good looking. No I’m not replacing you with anyone. We’re expanding our horizons.’

Jackson must have replied in the negative because Stiles saw Lydia’s eyes flash as she answered in a dangerously sweet voice, ‘Oh I’m sorry Jackson, I didn’t realise you were part owner of Pack Mentality now? Because it almost sounded like you just accused me of sleeping with every model who goes through our doors.’

Stiles watched as the impeccable Lydia Martin cut the call halfway through Jackson’s spluttering apology.

‘Plus,’ she said continuing the conversation with Stiles, ‘I don’t think I’m really his type?’ she said raising an eyebrow. Dammit why could everyone do that but him?

Stiles blushed; even if Derek was gay he wouldn’t want anything to do with Stiles now.

Lydia dissatisfied with his wordless answer just clicked her tongue, ‘Stiles you’ve been, like, celibate for a year, don’t you think it’s time to break your dry spell?’

‘Uh thanks for the commentary on my love life, but just no, with Derek at least. Boy’s a bit messed up.’

‘Well I have plenty of friends who would love to be set up with the successful, rich head photographer of Pack Mentality? I could set you up.’ She declared as if she hadn’t been suggesting the same thing since they’d known each other.

Stiles groaned, he hated blind dates. Everyone he’d gone out with had expected this suave, sophisticated, suit wearing professional. And instead they got clumsy, mouthy, converse wearing, mussed haired Stiles, who talked too much with his hands and didn’t know the meaning of tact or subtlety. Plus he’s thoughts were currently preoccupied with a certain dark haired moody broken man who didn’t want anything to do with him. You couldn’t really blame Stiles though, when he fell, he only fell for the ones he had no chance of getting.

‘Thanks Lydia, but uh no thanks. I can negotiate my own life.’

Lydia huffed, obviously unhappy with his answer, ‘Fine, you still need to get Derek for me. Tell him I can do Thursdays and Fridays. Whatever he wants.’

Stiles was a little shocked, Lydia Martin must really want Derek, she usually made exact appointments without confirmation and you either went or you didn’t get face time with her. But just from looking at the shots he couldn’t really blame her, there was definite raw talent there and Lydia was almost (almost) as good as Stiles at picking them.

But Stiles was not contacting Derek, no siree, not after the way things ended early this morning, ‘Hey, I’m a photographer, not admin. Get your secretary to do it.’

‘We tried.’ She said icily, ‘We’ve been ringing him all morning, he’s not picking up.

‘How did you get his number?’ Stiles asked a little miffed, he didn’t even get it.

‘I have my ways’, Lydia said, smiling sweetly, ‘But you seem to be the only one who had an, uh- connection- to him’ she said delicately, ‘So I need you to get him. Now.’

Stiles eyes narrowed, ‘What do you mean by “connection”’, he asked, instantly suspicious. Who had Lydia been speaking to? Was it Allison?  
Lydia didn’t answer but flicked a finger to the door, he was obviously dismissed.

Stiles sighed, he would have to do, Lydia was tenacious and wouldn’t stop bugging, not when she had a new Jackson. But Derek wasn’t Jackson, Derek didn’t enjoy all the aspects that made modelling addictive for Jackson and he tried to explain as much to Lydia, ignoring her dismissal.

‘Don’t be silly Stiles, anyone can be a model. You just tell him how much we’re paying him. That should get him running back in here.’

‘Lydia, he’s totally loaded. He doesn’t need the money.’

Lydia frowned, stumped for once that money couldn’t solve her problem, ‘This face,’ she said tapping the screen of her computer, ‘This is a face meant to be admired, seen, and photographed. Preferably in my magazine, Stiles. And if you can’t get this face to me Stiles I will not be responsible for my actions.’

Stiles scrubbed a hand through his unkempt, unwashed hair and made no more attempt to argue with Lydia, simply taking Derek’s number off her desk. There was no point when she got like that and Stiles liked his job very much thank you. He left for his office.

***

Derek wasn’t answering his phone, or his voicemails. Lydia was going to kill him.

After his seventh call went straight to message bank, Stiles started getting desperate. He even considered calling Laura but was suddenly struck with a strange sense of deja vu when he heard his name being yelled through the offices for the second time this morning. Stiles groaned, head on the desk, he was too old for this shit (and since when did he have two mums anyway?).

‘I WANT STILES STILINSKI. WHERE THE HELL IS STILES STILINSKI.’

Ah damn, it was Laura and she sounded pissed off.

Like majorly pissed off. What was it with him and the Hale siblings? Was it some cosmic joke? Did he somehow spite the magnificent house of Hale in another life? Why couldn’t he catch a break. 

Stiles was being overdramatic, he knew that. He tended to do that when he was stressed, or overtired or hopelessly crushing on someone who would never like him back. And currently the odds weren’t looking good, he was gone three for three. 

For the second time that day Stiles steeled himself, hunched his shoulders protectively, and went out to meet the second scariest woman he knew.

Laura was currently being shepherded to the door by the security guards as she furiously argued with poor Kelly at reception, Stiles catching snatches of their, rather one sided conversation, which consisted of ‘Stiles.’ ‘Kill, him’ and ‘brother’ over and over again.

Stiles quickly hurried down the stairs motioning to the security guard’s to back down, almost immediately regretting it when Laura rounded on him, eyes flashing dangerously.

‘You!’ she said, advancing on him, ‘What did you do to Derek.’

Stiles gulped, so Derek must have told Laura, ‘Look Laura I’m really sorry, ok? I didn’t mean to offend him, I was only trying to help him.’

Laura’s anger, if anything became even more incensed, as she gestured wildly (seriously rivalling Stiles’ own reputation for being the biggest flailer in the office) ‘BY SLEEPING WITH HIM?’

What? ‘What?’ Stiles blurted out, noticing that now the whole office was watching and listening in. He’d be embarrassed if he wasn’t a bit smug that Laura thought he could somehow land her brother.

‘HE WAS EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HIM’ 

Stiles winced, yikes, that was made him somehow less smug, and he needed to sort this out. He didn’t know where she got her information from but she was wrong and currently severely undermining his authority as head photographer. Pfft as if he had any to begin with. His romantic life, or lack thereof was the butt of most of the jokes at Pack Mentality.

‘Laura’ he hissed, catching her eye.

‘Calm down, I didn’t sleep with him.’

‘DON’T YOU LIE TO ME STILES STILINSKI!’

‘JESUS LAURA! STOP! I DIDN’T SLEEP WITH YOUR BROTHER OK?’ Stiles finally shouted, red and a little bit out of breath.

Something in his voice must have got through to her because the rage cleared and she said, a little icily, ‘What, he’s not good looking enough for your little model tastes Stiles? Too much stubble? Is that it?’

What the hell? First she was angrily accusing him of sleeping with her emotionally fucked up brother and now she was angry that he hadn’t because Derek wasn’t his type? This woman gave him whiplash.

‘Christ Laura, What? No! We had an argument last night after I took him home, he told me some stuff that he said he regretted and then I offered to help, I might have pushed a little too far and he went like, super defensive on and left.’

Finally calmed down Laura looked at him shrewdly, ‘What did he tell you?’  
Stiles shrugged, ‘Just a little bit of stuff about an ex and how it’s his fault she’s insane. But there’s more too it Laura, I know it. He just wouldn’t open up after that.’

Laura stared at Stiles a little, ‘You do realise that Derek’s never even talked to me about this stuff and I’m his sister.’ She said slowly, than something must have clicked in her brain. ‘Fuck! Stiles!’ Stiles blinked. What? What had he done this time?

Laura continued breathlessly, ‘Derek doesn’t open up to anyone and now that he finally has he’s gone and done a runner.’

Stiles got a bad feeling in his stomach, ‘What? What do you mean “done a runner”? What’s happened Laura?’

Laura sighed, ‘Stiles, Derek’s gone missing.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was a long one but they're probably going to stay this length for the rest of the fic. I hope you had fun, let me know what you think :) You guys are awesome!


	10. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he voiced his concerns Laura had simply scoffed, ‘Don’t flatter yourself Stiles. Derek’s been extra jumpy these past few weeks; it’s got nothing to do with you. And the fact that he talked to you, willingly, about his past, which he’s only ever done with his therapist tells me that he probably want you there for whatever angsty manpain shit he’s pulling now.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't post yesterday!!!! Here's a super informative chapter to make up for it. Stiles and Laura kind of figure out whats possibly wrong with Derek!  
> Also warning, this chapter contains some horrible realizations about Derek's childhood and past, but i don't go into detail, however I'm going to update my tags just to warn people it may be slightly triggery for victims of abuse.  
> Plus Laura and Stiles make great detectives!  
> Music Inspiration for this chapter was 'We Come Running' by Yougblood Hawke.

It hadn’t taken much convincing on Stiles part to make Lydia give him a few days off so he and Laura could find Derek. All he had to do was tell Lydia he’d have Derek in by next week and she agreed. Obviously her procurement of Derek was much more important than any kind of work she needed Stiles to do.

‘Pfft don’t be silly Stiles, we have heaps of photographers that can do your work, go out and get your man.’ 

Stiles had been caught between feeling vaguely offended that he could be brushed aside and wanting to correct Lydia in calling Derek ‘his’ man. He did neither, just thanking her and leaving. Sometimes it was just better to cut your losses with Lydia.

All Stiles did was grab his jacket from his office and went to meet Laura who was waiting in the lobby so they could leave. 

Laura was driving them back to his apartment so that he could grab some spare clothes. They were apparently going on a cross country trip back to Laura’s home town of as Laura thought that’s most probably where Derek might have gone. 

Stiles had protested at first to coming along. He felt like he was intruding in family matters that he had no right in intruding on. Plus he was the last person Derek probably wanted to see right now.

When he voiced his concerns Laura had simply scoffed, ‘Don’t flatter yourself Stiles. Derek’s been extra jumpy these past few weeks; it’s got nothing to do with you. And the fact that he talked to you, willingly, about his past, which he’s only ever done with his therapist tells me that he probably want you there for whatever angsty manpain shit he’s pulling now.’

However they were both able to agree on the fact that the stressful photo-shoot the night before may have been a trigger for Derek as well as what he and Stile talked about. Stiles couldn’t help shake the feeling that it was more than that though. His gut was telling him it was more than that.

As they drove Stiles tried to figure out what happened. And from what he could gather, Laura had apparently had woken that morning and Derek wasn't in his bed but the Camaro was still there. And when Laura had called Derek and he hadn’t picked up, that’s when she had really become worried. And was the reason why Laura had assumed that he and Derek went home together. Laura had also been worried because Derek hadn’t left their apartment in ages and if he did he always did it with Laura. Laura also said he was obsessive about his cell and had become increasingly jumpy about phone calls on it, especially these past few weeks.

Derek had only ever gone missing once before and that was on his graduation day 5 years earlier. 

Laura had found him back then, quite by accident, curled up in the woods by their home town, crying. Laura never got the full story out of him, just that he had broken up with the mysterious girl he had been seeing, on and off for the past four years. Derek had been 18.

‘I never knew who she was Stiles, all I know was that her name was Kate. And I knew I should have pushed it with him but he was always so defensive as a teenager and after our parents died when he was thirteen and I was made his legal custodian he just changed. He used to be the really carefree kid you know? He used to smile all the time. But after that happened he became secretive, I mean he still did things, he still played lacrosse, went to parties. People seemed to like him, but as the years wore on we became less connected, he pulled away when I tried to get close and I eventually just gave up. It’s my fault he’s like this. When he started going out a lot more when he was fourteen, I had thought it was a good thing you know? He never told me where he went or what he was doing and I never pushed it. All I knew was that he had a girlfriend named Kate because I saw her name in hearts on his school diary and I found an opened packet of condoms in his bedside table, he didn’t even tell me. I never thought it was weird that he didn’t go out with any other girls. Or boys’, she said flicking her eyes over Stiles, ‘I just thought he would come to me in his own time, when he felt ready. I already knew she wasn’t anyone from school, I checked the name registry. He was just sullen moody Derek who was sometimes happy and sometimes not.’

Stiles felt unbearably sad for the Hales, he hadn’t known their parents had died; he hadn’t of known Laura had to raise a child when she was still so young. No wonder she was so protective of her younger brother Derek and no wonder Derek was a bit messed up. He knew what losing one parent when he was young had been like, he couldn’t even bare to think what losing both would have done to him.

‘Laura, it wasn’t your fault, all teenagers are like that. This Kate girl was probably a some cheerleader from another school or a drop out. Derek shouldn’t blame himself for her having a breakdown the way she did, these things aren’t anyone’s fault’.

Laura looked at him sideways, curiously, ‘What do you mean ‘breakdown’?’

‘Well Derek told me last night that she apparently went insane when I assume he broke things off with her because he told me that it was his fault.’

Laura pulled the car to a halt, jerking Stiles against the seat belt. 

She rounded on Stiles. Laura was really quite scary when she wanted to be, ‘Tell me exactly what he said.’

Stiles gulped, and quickly raised his hands in a placating gesture, ‘H-h-he told me that he was the reason his ex was in a mental hospitable because somehow he had made her crazy. He told me she had been in one for the past five years.’

Laura looked like she was thinking things over until suddenly she went as pale as a sheet and her hands started shaking, ‘Oh my god. Oh my god, Derek, baby, why didn’t you ever tell me?’

Stiles was getting seriously worried now, ‘Tell you what? What Laura? What are you thinking?’ 

Stiles felt like shaking her but he valued the use of his limbs too much to attempt.

Laura squeezed her eyes shut, her breathing becoming increasingly ragged as she continued as if she hadn’t heard Stiles, ‘I should have known! What kind of parent was I?’

Stiles grabbed her hand, recognizing the signs of a panic attack when he saw one, ‘Breath Laura. Breath. It’s OK.’

Laura’s eyes flashed at Stiles as she opened them, ‘No! It’s not OK Stiles! Derek’s not OK! It will never be OK!’

‘Just tell me Laura. What have you figured out? Why won’t Derek ever be OK?’

Laura took a deep breath, eyes on the houses that lined the street as she started speaking, slowly. ‘On graduation day, five years ago, there was a huge big kerfuffle at the school. I hadn’t been paying much attention though because Derek, who had meant to be graduating, hadn’t been there to collect his certificate. It hadn’t mattered much anyway, because the graduation had been eventually cancelled.’ 

Laura winced, took a deep breath and continued her voice just above a whisper, ‘One of the teachers, Miss Argent, had holed herself in the school and had threatened to commit suicide by burning the whole thing down. It seems so obvious now but back then I never connected the two.’

The thought vaguely crossed Stiles mind that Allison’s last name was Argent too. He wondered loosely whether they were related.

Shaking his head Stiles had to ask, ‘What was so obvious?’

Laura still wouldn’t look at him, ‘The police had been able to talk Miss Argent from killing herself but when she went on trial her lawyer pleaded insanity and in order for not to spend time in jail she had to be admitted to a Psych hospital.’

As Stiles processed what Laura had told him he started to feel sick. He almost didn’t want to know the answer to his next question but he forced himself to ask it anyway.

‘What was her first name Laura?’ he whispered. 

Laura shook her head, almost too distraught to answer.

‘What was her first name Laura?’ Stiles repeated, desperately.

Laura brought her wide eyes slowly around to Stiles’ and said weakly.

‘Her name was Kate, Stiles, her name was Kate.’ 

Stiles had already got his phone out of his pocket and was dialing Allison before she had even answered, he knew it was a long shot but if Allison did know a Kate Argent then he had a feeling things were about to get a little bit worse.

‘Hey Stiles.’ Said her cheery voice on the other end of the line, ‘Are you OK? You left work kind of quickly this morning.’

‘Fine’ Stiles said through gritted teeth, ‘I have kind of an invasive and weird question for you.’

‘OK, shoot.’ Allison said without hesitating.

‘Do you have an any kind of relation named Kate Argent who used to be a teacher at…’ he looked at Laura who mouthed ‘Sunnydale High, his eyes widened, that was almost right next door to his home town of Beacon Hills, ‘…um Sunnydale High?’

He heard Allison take a sharp breath, he had hit gold.

‘Um yeah. She’s my aunt but no one really talks about her much. Why do you ask?’

Stiles sighed, this wasn’t going to be easy, ‘Look Allison I can’t explain right now but I will later OK? But it’s incredibly important that you answer my next question.’

‘OK,’ Allison said, sounding hesitant.

‘Kate is currently residing in Psych hospital Right? Do you know when or if she’s getting out?’

He looked at Laura whose eyes widened in realization. There had to be a reason Derek had been so jumpy lately. And if it wasn’t what Stile was suspecting he’d eat his foot.  
‘She was meant to be out last month. But we haven’t heard from her at all since her release.’

Stiles sighed, he was right. He thanked Allison and hung up.

‘Shit’ Stiles said banging his head against the dashboard.

Derek’s unhinged ex-girlfriend who was actually his old school teacher who had started a relationship with him whilst under her care since he was fourteen years old was out of the Psych hospital. Where no one had heard or seen from her since and Derek was currently missing.

‘Fuck’ Laura echoed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, I hope that wasn't as horrible to read as it was to write :( Also just a disclaimer for everyone, I am by no means an expert on the behavior of past victims of abuse and Derek's perpetual self blame, inability to properly express emotion and general mistrust and fear of those outside his immediate support group are symptoms of the manifestation of his past abuse and are specific to him. Others may experience the symptoms differently.  
> Anyways please let me know how you think its going so far :)


	11. Isn’t elegance forgetting what one is wearing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halfway through the trip Stiles had had a call from Lydia too. Apparently the whole office had gone ape shit over Stiles’ picture which had been dubbed ‘Full Moon’ by Scott (not very original, because, well, it was Scott) and Pack Mentality had been ringing off the hook all freaking day from some of the biggest fashion houses in the world, all wanting in on the next issue with the pic. Stiles tried to be happy, for Lydia’s sake more than his own, but it weighed heavily in his gut, the guilt over the photo and his and Derek’s fight. To be honest it was nice people were ‘going ape shit’ as Lydia so delicately put it and maybe he would care in a weeks, months, six months’ time, maybe it would be legendary, renowned , fabled but right now, he couldn’t really care less. Not now, not with Derek missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the constant cliffhangers, they're fun aren't they! Or not, maybe just for me :P Anyways here's the next chapter for you awesome people who are reading this fic :) Seriously though you guys are great with your awesome comments and feedback!  
> Laura and Stiles play detectives and we learn even more things about Derek's secretive past.  
> Music inspiration for this chapter - 'Broken Crown' By Mumford and Sons.

Sunnydale was much like Beacon Hills; it bordered the preserve, there was some odd empty warehouses on the edge of town and seemed to have a penchant for weird animal attacks, or so said Laura.

It had taken almost half an hour for Stiles to calm Laura enough so that she could drive after the unpleasant revelation. And all Stiles could think about through the 7 hours it took to drive from LA was all the horrible scenarios of what it must have been like for Derek, a fourteen year old kid who had just lost his parents to be preyed upon by someone like Kate Argent and the more he thought about it the more panicked he got. Derek had never had proper professional help because no one had ever known so it was no wonder he was so messed up. 

Kids just don’t bounce back from stuff like that and he wasn’t completely sure the extent of damage.

The anger thrumming through his veins was nothing compared to Laura’s, however. Laura had been almost wild. First she wanted to ‘find that bitch Kate and show her what it means to have her ass kicked’ and then she burst into tears, sobbing because she felt so guilty that she had never known. But how could she? Really? Stiles had asked her. People like Kate are predators, and smart and if their main goal is to make sure no one finds out? Then they would make sure no one ever did. At least that’s what stiles told Laura anyway. He didn’t know all the facts so he couldn’t judge fairly.

It helped though and by the time Laura had resumed driving she had downgraded her wildness to her familiar sharpness and decided, with Stiles that their main goal for the moment was finding Derek, and the most probably place for that was in hers and Derek’s old town of Sunnydale.

Stiles had called his father when Laura was driving, not putting an official missing persons report but just asking his dad to keep an eye out and maybe call the sheriff of Sunnydale to do the same thing. 

His father had been worried, but Stiles assured him he was OK. It was Derek they needed to worry about. Derek and Kate.

Stiles wasn’t really sure whether Kate might be involved in Derek being missing or whether Derek had gone off by himself, triggered by her release and Stiles subsequent pushing. They had no clear evidence for either but they both decided that Sunnydale was their best bet for both situations.

It was all pretty muddy and Stiles instincts were telling him there was more to this story, way more. He understood why Derek hadn’t told Laura his secret, Kate may have threatened all manner of things or maybe Derek thought himself in love. But something was telling him it was more than that and that’s why Stiles was so desperate to find Derek.

Halfway through the trip Stiles had had a call from Lydia too. Apparently the whole office had gone ape shit over Stiles’ picture which had been dubbed ‘Full Moon’ by Scott (not very original, because, well, it was Scott) and Pack Mentality had been ringing off the hook all freaking day from some of the biggest fashion houses in the world, all wanting in on the next issue with the pic. Stiles tried to be happy, for Lydia’s sake more than his own, but it weighed heavily in his gut, the guilt over the photo and his and Derek’s fight. To be honest it was nice people were ‘going ape shit’ as Lydia so delicately put it and maybe he would care in a weeks, months, six months’ time, maybe it would be legendary, renowned , fabled but right now, he couldn’t really care less. Not now, not with Derek missing. 

It also clenched in his stomach an overwhelming fear that he might not see Derek again. He was being overdramatic (he was almost delirious with lack of sleep) but it just seemed like Stiles life that he finally meets someone who makes him want to swoon and smile and constantly be around (even though Stiles actually has no idea whether Derek was interested, not that it matters at the moment with all the revelations of the past 24 hours) and he has to go missing, possibly in the clutches of his ex-psychotic lover/teacher. 

Laura had wanted to call the Sunnydale Sheriff herself, immediately, to get Kate arrested, wherever she was, but Stiles assured her that with the circumstantial evidence they had they would be laughed out of the office. 

No, first they need Derek to come clean about what happened to him, only then would they be taken seriously. But before that, they needed to find him.

They started their search in a small suburb at the edge of town where Derek and Laura’s old house resided. A small four bedroomed white weatherboard, with a gorgeous garden (their mother liked to garden) and white picket fence. Laura had sold it after their parents died. It now belonged to the Summers family. Derek wasn’t there.

They then went to the house Laura rented after she sold the old one. It was a two story mansion with a long driveway and a pool. Derek wasn’t there.

Next they searched the high school, Laura looking distinctly nostalgic as she paused to peek into classrooms and ran her hands over the lockers pausing when she came to an classroom that looked like it was used for storage.

‘This was the one where Kate holed herself up in on graduation day. They should have let her kill herself, no one deserved it more. They said she was so fucked up she started yelling that even fire couldn’t kill her, nor could their bullets. I only remember now because she wrote that she was immortal in her own blood on the wall and they said she used so much that they were surprised she didn’t die. It had been in the paper the next day. She really was crazy. Poor Derek. She should have fucking died right here.’

Stiles knew rationally that that was not sensible, that Kate needed help, but in that moment, with Derek missing and knowing what Kate did, Stiles was inclined to agree with Laura, nodding his head slowly even though she couldn’t see him.

It made sense to him, he thought angrily, that someone should pay, should die for the ruination of Derek’s childhood and innocence; that someone should pay for preying upon Derek, Derek at his most vulnerable.

Derek hadn’t been at the school either.

Finally, completely drained and out of ideas, they started checking the preserve, splitting up to cover more ground. 

Stiles was exhausted, emotionally and physically as he stumbled through the woods, sun setting. Not only had he gotten a bare minimum of two hours sleep the night before but this whole thing with Derek had completely side swiped him. If you had told him he would care about someone so much in so little time a month ago he would have laughed in your face. But here he was, in the woods, almost back in his hometown playing detective and searching for someone he only officially met a day and a half ago. 

It was almost dark when he heard it. A howl, in the distance, Stiles stilled, heart beating frantically ears straining.

And he heard it again, a little closer this time, a thin, mournful sound that he felt, almost like it was connected to something in his chest and his chest ached whilst his palms sweated. He had never been so scared in his life.

Then a random thought occurred to him. There were no wolves in California. Hadn’t been for, like 70 years. Everybody knew that. 

But sure enough, there it was, again, much, much closer this time, it had a growling quality to it, almost guttural and Stiles spun around, spying red gleaming eyes through the thick trees. 

Stiles did what any sensible person would do in his position; he turned on his heel and ran.

Actually every sensible person knew that its common knowledge that you don’t run when you encounter a wolf, it not only stimulates the wolf to attack but you can’t actually, physically, outrun a wolf. It’s basically wolf 101. Stiles did know this but chose not to heed the advice, rather he ran for his life, scrambling over rotten logs and tripping on the undergrowth.

The wolf was getting closer, Stiles could feel its breath on the back of his neck. What? The back of his neck? How freaking big was this wolf anyway? Stiles thought desperately, fear clouding his mind, his foot slipped and suddenly he was careening down a bank, hitting his head, hard on a rock on the way down.

When he stopped moving, he opened his eyes, instantly knowing something was wrong when he started seeing blurry doubles of everything. Double the giant wolf currently slinking toward him and he definitely knew his head hit something hard when the wolf’s legs turned into human legs and the wolf’s face turned into Derek’s face which was now looking, with a stricken expression, at Stiles, mouthing his name, or maybe he was yelling it? Sounds were coming through to his ears as if through water.

Stiles didn’t care. What a way to pass on, he thought fuzzily. His minds decided to look upon the one thing it truly wanted before he died and Stiles closed his eyes, embracing the warmth and slowly letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STILES IS NOT DEAD. Stiles is just a bit of a drama queen when he gets hurt. sorry, i thought you guys should know now so you don't stop reading and hate me forever.  
> Ok so, um how did that go for you? Btw my disclaimer from the last chapter still holds despite new information coming to light! Derek is still a sufferer from abuse, and still exhibits symptoms of that abuse, let me make that clear.   
> So i hope you guys are enjoying the turn of events - let me know in the comments! Stuff and things (hehe) are explained in the next chapter.


	12. All photos are accurate. None of them is the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles nodded like he understood even though he didn’t really, and Derek huffed and explained, ‘On full moon some werewolves have trouble controlling the shift. I’m usually OK but that night I –with- you – with you I felt my control slipping. I just had to get out of there.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's long chapter for you :) I hope you enjoy it! A bit of Laura, a bit of an explanation and a touch of Sterek :) Angsty though too!  
> Song inspiration - 'Bleeding Out' by Imagine Dragons (But seriously all the songs on this album are amazing slash Stereky!)  
> Also I've put up a rough chapter estimate to 16 but be warned it may change depending on how much writing i get done :)  
> Have fun kids!

Stiles awoke to voices, loud voices. Voices that made his head ache. Voices that were vaguely familiar.

‘…should have taken him to hospital.’ 

‘Calm down Laura, he’s injuries not that bad, I would smell it if it was.’

‘And so what, you can just smell that he’s going to be alright? Fuck Derek! A fucking werewolf? Jesus fuck.’

‘Laura, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.’

‘About what Derek? About the fact that you were a fucking werewolf? Or about the fact that your teacher was an absolute psycho?!’

Stiles heard the growl and his heart momentarily sped up, Derek must have heard him, damn werewolf powers, ‘Laura. Stop yelling, you’re scaring him’

What is even happening? Stiles thought as his head cleared and his mind made sense of the words he was hearing. Then he groaned out loud. Jesus fuck werewolves.

Soft hands were clutching his in seconds.

‘Stiles? Stiles? Can you hear me?’ Laura asked frantically.

‘Yes,’ Stiles mumbled, his tongue feeling as rough as sandpaper.

‘Oh thank god.’ She breathed, sighing with relief.

Stiles blearily opened his eyes, taking in the room he was in. It was a motel room, light brown carpet, light brown walls, light brown bedspread. Laura looked like death as she clutched his hand, her eyes had big circles under them and she looked like she had been crying and her normally glossy, straight hair was stringy.

‘How long was I out?’ Stiles asked, croakily.

‘For about 16 hours. Its 1pm now.’ 

Stiles groaned again and looked towards where Derek was sitting at the foot of the bed, he looked a little worse for wear, but what can you expect really, from a werewolf. 

Suddenly Stiles breathing hitched, his heart going into over drive when he put the last image he had of Derek and what Laura had been saying together. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest and he swore Derek’s ears literally twitched as he watched Stiles miserably. And when it looked as if he was going to approach Stiles frantically pushed himself up the bed. He was not going to be werewolf chow today, no siree. 

Derek slumped back into his chair looking defeated, eyes never straying form Stiles’ prone form on the bed.

Laura hastened to calm him, ‘It’s ok Stiles, Derek’s not going to hurt you. Derek’s still Derek, just with a few extra features.’ Laura said as Stiles choked out a laugh at that, it hadn’t even been funny but it did ease some of the tension in the room and Laura smiled at him. Even Derek looked less scowley than usual, or though it might have been a trick of the light. 

Stiles lent back slowly as a thousand thought whirled around his still throbbing head. Werewolves were real. The supernatural was real. Derek Hale was a werewolf. How? What? Stiles didn’t even know where to start.

Laura kept looking between wide eyed, speechless Stiles and forlorn, scowley Derek and got up from where she had been resting on the bed. 

‘Ok look, so I’m going to get us some food. You guys need to talk. And Derek, I think Stiles deserves as explanation as to why he was dragged on this manhunt and Stiles, just hear Derek out ok?’

Stiles nodded dumbly as Laura left determinedly not looking at Derek. He twiddled his thumbs, fidgeted and then almost fell out of the bed when Derek let out a huge sigh.

‘What do you want to know?’ Derek said, looking at his hands.  
‘Everything.’ Stiles responded, because seriously? Werewolves? That shit was awesome, now that he’d gotten over the shock of them actually existing.

So Derek told him everything. 

Derek told him how Kate had been an Alpha werewolf and had turned him when he was fourteen. Then he told Stiles how he kept the whole thing a secret from Laura and it wasn’t until he was old enough to notice that he realised Kate was actually insane. And when he tried to break off their ‘relationship’ the night before he graduated she had almost killed him but he had been able to get away before she could. Delirious from the pain he had stumbled home and into bed. The next morning he knew he had to get away because he knew Kate would come after him again but he was still healing and he passed out in the preserve and Laura found him. That day Kate had tried, unsuccessfully, to kill herself and burn down the school and then locked in a mental institution.

Derek had told his story monotonously and quickly, like he was pulling off a band aid so it wouldn’t hurt so much. Stiles hadn’t heard Derek talk so much before but somehow he had the feeling Derek wasn’t telling him the full story and he still had a million questions.

When Derek finished it was quiet.

‘Is that why you kept pushing me away a few nights ago?’

Derek nodded, still not looking Stiles in the eye, ‘Yes, you kept pushing and I was so close to telling you the truth and it was full moon too.’ Like Stiles knew what that meant.

Stiles nodded like he understood even though he didn’t really, and Derek huffed and explained, ‘On full moon some werewolves have trouble controlling the shift. I’m usually ok but that night I –with- you – with you I felt my control slipping. I just had to get out of there.’

‘That doesn’t explain why you left.’

Derek looked straight at Stiles, ‘an Alpha werewolf is the only werewolf that’s eyes can turn red. And there can only be one Alpha in a pack, supposedly. What colour were my eyes when you saw them last night?’

Stiles tried to remember what happened before he hit his head and before he saw Derek shift. In the trees, before he started running, Derek’s eyes had been red.

‘What does that have to do with anything. So you’re an Alpha, and Kate was a – oh. Kate was an alpha.’ Stiles eyes had widened in realization.

‘What happened to Kate.’ He almost whispered.

‘She called me to come back to Sunnydale, the night you left. I had been expecting it, it was why I was so jumpy. I didn’t want anything to do with her anymore, but I expected her to try and build a pack again. So when I went to meet her in the preserve, I was expecting her to talk, I wasn’t expecting her to be feral. But she was weak after being locked up for so long. The drugs had been so strong that it hadn’t allowed her to shift for five years. It was – she’ Derek stopped, choked, he looked like he was in pain, Stiles scrambled inelegantly forward on the bed and rested a hand on Derek’s hand.

Derek clutched it, took a breath and continued, ‘They should never had let her out of there Stiles. She couldn’t control her wolf after it had been caged for so long and she just kept coming at me like a rabid dog. And I had to kill her.’

Stiles sucked in a breath but didn’t let go of Derek’s hand. Derek had killed Kate. Kate who had turned an emotionally vulnerable teenager into a member of her pack and Derek had killed her. 

It must have been horrible for Derek. Even though Stiles knew it was probably for the best. In fact Stiles even felt a sick sense of satisfaction at the fact that it she had been killed because when it came to Derek? Stiles wasn’t rational. That’s how Stiles was about the people he loved.

Loved? Where had that come from?

‘I was still healing when I caught your and Laura’s scent 

‘Were there others? That she turned?’ Stiles asked quietly after Derek had calmed.  
At first Stiles thought he wasn’t going to answer then Derek said quietly, ‘Um there was Boyd, he graduated 2 years before me and there was an Isaac I think, but he didn’t go to my school.’

Stiles stilled again, ‘Isaac? Isaac Lahey?’

‘Yeah’ Derek sad frowning, ‘I think that was his name.’

‘Shit, I went to school with Isaac.’

And then Stiles clapped a hand to his forehead realization hitting, ‘Jesus! She really knew how to pick them.’

Derek turned his head sharply to look at Stiles, ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well it was never really proved, but Isaac’s dad used to beat the shit out of him and then one day my dad turns up at school to bring Isaac in for questioning because his dad had gone missing. It was never proven but everyone thought that Isaac had killed him. No one blamed him.’

‘It was Kate.’ Derek said in a hard voice and Stiles was inclined to agree. She was one crazy motherfucker who probably didn’t like seeing her toys being played with by anyone but her.

‘And Boyd, Boyd never had any friends. I think brother committed suicide the when he was like 10.’, Derek said again, his voice dawning in realization and his face looking very vulnerable and sad as if he was only just now realization how sick Kate had really been.

Derek hadn’t realized that he may not have been Kate’s only ‘special’ friend and the idea made him angry. Stiles concurred. He was really glad she was dead now.

But here came the hard part, but it needed to happen because Derek was still partly in denial.

‘Did she do – I mean, did you guys ever, have sex?’

Derek stiffened, holding Stiles hand so hard it was going numb. But when Stiles let out a squeak of protest Derek instantly loosened his hold, his thumbs, once again, rubbing soothing circles into the palm of Stiles’ hand. Stiles was so distracted by the warmth spreading through him at the contact that he almost missed it when Derek said quietly, ‘Yes. I didn’t want to. At first. But she was my Alpha and she made me submit. Eventually – eventually I grew to like it. I thought she liked – loved – me. I told her I loved her.’

Stiles felt like crying, just the lost sound of Derek’s voice made him want to resurrect Kate and beat the shit out of her again. How dare she ruin his innocence! How dare she force herself on someone so heinously. It made Stiles sick Kate had been fucking building herself a harem of emotionally fucked guys. She deserved to die at the hands of one of her victims.

Derek continued, unaware of Stiles inner rant, ‘But I didn’t love her. Not really. And the in my senior year she started behaving strangely. Or maybe I just started noticing it. I started to resent her for what she had done. I wasn’t allowed girlfriends, or boyfriends, but she liked how popular I was. She used to tell me I was all hers and on one else’s. No one else was allowed to have me. I got incredibly depressed, I felt like I was in a prison with no escape, which I was. Until that night, when I told her that if she didn’t cut the hold she had on me I would kill myself. That’s when she snapped and attacked.’

Stiles nodded again, he knew there had been more to the story, he just wish he hadn’t heard it. That was an incredible amount of suffering for someone to withstand; he was surprised Derek was even more messed up.

‘The others? Do you know what happened to Boyd and Isaac?’

Derek shook his head.

‘Are they your pack now? Because you killed their Alpha?’

Derek looked a little stunned, like he hadn’t thought of that and then his forehead crumpled, ‘Boyd joined the army after he left. He was in Iraq. He probably wanted to get as far away from Kate as possible. I think he might have died over there.’

‘I don’t know what happened to Isaac. He was a few years older than me and maybe he got out better? I mean it’s not like Kate had been his teacher.’ Stiles said, thoughtfully.

‘It wouldn’t have mattered. She would have had an enormous amount of control over him, it wouldn’t have mattered how far away she had been.’ Derek said, scowling again. Anger seemed to have returned tenfold to his expression.

Something suddenly occurred to Stiles and he almost yelped, ‘Shit! Does this mean Allison’s a werewolf?’ If she was he would never had guessed it.

‘No, Kate had been bitten. I think the werewolf that bit her had been rabid because she killed it easily a few nights after it got her. Maybe that’s why she was insane. Maybe the bite infected her with more the werewolf curse.’ Derek said carelessly, shifting a hand to play with the frayed edges of the brown bedspread next to Stiles’ thigh.

‘You’re not insane? Are you?’ Stiles asked quietly, looking up into Derek’s eyes. 

Whoa, he forgot how close they were sitting or how close their faces were. They were so close Stiles could count the individual hairs of Derek’s stubble and wonder at Derek’s eyes. Derek really had amazing eyes. 

‘No’ Derek whispered, breath coasting over Stiles’ cheek.

Stiles audibly swallowed, dammit he really wanted to kiss Derek, right now. But when they heard a rattling at the door, Derek scrambled back off the chair, away from Stiles. Apparently Derek didn't feel the same way, Stiles thought drily, ignoring the hurt of rejection that lanced through his body and made his eyes sting.

It was Laura who came through the door tottering into the room, mounds of takeaway boxes in her hands.  
‘I didn’t know what you guys wanted so in got everything – uh – are you guys alright?’  
Stiles nodded numbly, determinedly not looking at Derek and now back in bed. Derek simply grunted, stalking over to see what Laura had bought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep reading, there's plenty more to come.


	13. They capture a moment that’s gone forever, impossible to reproduce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He cried for himself, he cried for his stupid crush, for the fact that he was in love with someone who couldn’t love him back, for his mum, for his dad he hadn’t seen in three years, for Laura who had to deal with her parents death and raising Derek when she was so young but mostly he cried for Derek Hale. For the shit that had become his life, for the young boy that had his innocence stolen from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! You ready for some angst? You better be because this next chapters full of it.  
> Fic inspiration was 30 Seconds to Mars 'Kings and Queens' and The Killers' 'When You Were Young' - they're both got this cool nostalgic/lost youth kind of vibe.  
> Also 16 chapters is looking pretty good for finishing and that's probably including a epilogue :)  
> Have fun kids (but probably not because as I said, lots of angst)

The drive back to LA was pretty silent. They all had a lot to mull over, Stiles supposed. But he was just bone tired, his head ached and he felt like he could sleep for a week.

When Laura had questioned Derek about Kate’s body he told her he hid it where no one would find it. Stiles supposed in the woods or the lake. He didn’t really want to think about that much. 

The whole past couple of days had been exhausting, emotionally, mentally and physically. Derek of course looked fine, Stiles had since learned how well you healed when you were a werewolf, which meant pretty instantly. He was only slightly jealous as his head throbbed.

His headache though didn’t stop Stiles as kept replaying the part where he and Derek almost kissed. He cringed when he thought about it now, he felt incredibly guilty and slightly disgusted at himself. It had been a stupid time to initiate a kiss with your crush. The guy had just mercy killed his werewolf ex teacher/girlfriend who he had just found out had a harem/ pack of emotionally unstable young students at her whim. The timing was horrible and it hadn’t been like Stiles had any evidence to suggest Derek felt the same about him as he did for him. 

Actually Stiles was surprised Derek was able to withstand his presence as most of their time spent together had been highly emotionally painful for Derek.

Stiles had groaned when he checked his phone which contained about a million missed calls and texts. The majority from Lydia demanding where he was even though he had asked for three days off to get Derek. And shit. Lydia wanted a meeting with Derek. Stiles honestly didn’t think he was up for it. People just didn’t get over shit like that and then go for interviews for their possible model career? And suddenly Stiles’ life felt inadequate. He thought being a fashion photographer was great, bloody fantastic, but now? Well now it all felt a little silly, redundant now he knew things like werewolves and god knows what else existed. 

Whilst he was off taking pictures of Jackson semi-nude in a park there were people out there turning into werewolves and dying and becoming emotionally scarred because of it and Stiles wasn’t sure that being a photographer was important or just enough? What must Derek have thought of him on that first day they met in the coffee shop. Derek was a fucking werewolf for Christ’s sake and here was oblivious Stiles asking him to be his model. Stiles cringed at the memory and kept his head turned toward the window, he had been avoiding eye contact with both Derek and Laura since the motel. He had felt so useless and incredibly encroaching on very personal and intimate matters that he really had no right to. He just wanted to get to his apartment and forget the last few days hadn’t happened. He was so done.

They arrived in LA early in the morning, Laura had driven through the night and Stiles had never been so pleased to see his apartment block in his life. He said a quick goodbye got out of the car groggily, he was still woozy from the bump on his head and he wasn’t entirely convinced he didn’t have a concussion. A theory that was quickly tested when he was twisted around and buried in what was possibly the warmest full body hug he had ever experienced.

It was Derek. Derek Hale was hugging him. In fact Derek was doing more than hugging, he was currently sniffing? Was it sniffing? Yes sniffing Stiles hair, drawing in great lungful’s of what Stiles could only describe as his scent? 

Stiles was so tired and kind of inappropriately turned on that he let Derek do it. Maybe it was like a closure thing for him? Because Stiles was pretty sure he was never going to see Derek again, like ever. The awkward silent ride home was testament to that, as was Derek’s rejection of his kiss. The hug lasted barely a minute but it seemed like forever to Stiles who staggered as Derek finally let go.

The look on Derek’s face was one of frustration, tiredness and embarrassment and Stiles had a feeling the hug had been more an instinct rather than an actually Derek choice because Derek wasn’t really much of a touchy feely person, at least when it came to Stiles. 

Heartbreakingly, though, Derek’s face looked more lost as he gazed at Stiles, like everything he had ever known had been swept from under him. 

Stiles knew that look well, he wore it a lot in high school after his mum died. And emotionally Derek hadn’t really moved on much since high school, it had been like his life had been suspended since graduation as he waited for the shoe to drop, for Kate to be released and it made Stiles unbearably sad for him. For fourteen year old Derek who didn’t deserve what was going to happen to him for the next 9 years. For the lost Derek now, who stood in front of him.

It felt like a dream when Stiles stepped forward and kissed Derek on the cheek, stepping back to see Derek had closed his eyes, as if remembering a time someone else had done that, probably his mum and Stiles said softly to him, ‘Get help Derek. Talk to someone about all this. Take back your life and, and don’t let Her- don’t let her ghost ruin all the good in you. You deserve that Derek. You deserve a life not dictated to you by others.’ 

And with that Stiles turned on his heel hearing a faint ‘Thank you’ as he slowly climbed the stairs.

Stiles waited until he reached his room, carefully unlocking the door, stepping through the threshold, collecting his mail and placing it on the bench before he leant his head on his shoulder and broke down sobbing. Full on body heaving wracks, the type of crying he hadn’t done since his mum died. 

He cried for himself, he cried for his stupid crush, for the fact that he was in love with someone who couldn’t love him back, for his mum, for his dad he hadn’t seen in three years, for Laura who had to deal with her parents death and raising Derek when she was so young but mostly he cried for Derek Hale. For the shit that had become his life, for the young boy that had his innocence stolen from him. He cried until his chest hurt and his eyes ran dry and he was exhausted. The sun had started to peep over the horizon when Stiles finally crawled into bed, eyes puffy and face tear stained.

Stiles slept a solid 18 hours waking up at midnight a day later. He felt like he had the biggest hangover he had ever experienced. His head was pounding and his face felt raw, the bump had gone down slightly which was a plus and he groaned when he remembered everything he had to do and begrudgingly got to work. Work was the only thing that was going to take his mind off Derek.

He answered the mountain of emails that had been sent to him over the past week. Most of them regarding the ‘full moon’ shot he took of Derek and Stiles shook his head, he couldn’t believe it had been almost a week since he shot it, so much had happened and he still wasn’t sure how he felt about the picture. But what he did know was that Pack Mentality was in for a massive windfall as they apparently (according to Lydia) had just signed on some of the biggest names in men’s fashion who either wanted pages of advertisement or wanted their clothes in Stiles’ fashion shoots. Stiles answered as many as he could and then he got done to replying to Lydia, knowing she would still be at the office at this time.

She picked up the phone on the first ring and he waited out her chastisement of his very poor response time to her messages and calls. 

He waited because he didn’t want to tell her his news until she finally went quiet and waited for Stiles’ response.

‘I’m sorry about all that ok? But I have good news and bad news.’

Lydia’s voice went what Stiles liked to call sweetly deadly, usually directed at Jackson, ‘Bad news please Stiles.’

Stiles overrode her, ‘So good news is we found Derek! Isn’t that good news Lydia!’

‘Wonderful news Stiles, now what’s the bad news.’ Lydia answered patiently.

Stiles cringed, ‘Ah so bad news is that Derek’s not coming to your meeting and willprobablynotbemodellinginPackMentality’simmediatefuture.’

It went quiet for a moment and then Lydia exploded, ‘What do you mean no modelling Stiles Stilinski! Don’t tell me you scared him off!?’

‘No! What? No, he is actually emotionally incapable of modelling or really doing anything, not for the foreseeable future.’

Stiles winced as he waited for her response, which was unexpected, to say the least.

‘Oh Stiles. I’m sorry.’ She said softly.

Wait, what? And then Stiles remembered why Lydia was his best friend and he sucked in a quick breath. Of course Lydia knew how he felt about Derek. She had probably always known. It was probably all over his dejected voice that he was in love with someone incredibly messed up and who would not love him back and Stiles felt his shoulders slump.

He had gone through his crying and now just felt numb.

‘Oh god Lydia. Its just – I just – I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help him, he’s just gone through so much shit and he’s just so broken and I feel incredibly, like, helpless.’ Stiles shuddered out, willing himself not to cry.

‘Do you really love him Stiles?’ Lydia asked quietly from the other end of the phone.

‘Yeah, yeah I do.’ Stiles finally admitted out loud, he would have felt silly for admitting he loved a guy he knew less than a week, but it was Lydia, Lydia who got him like no one else.

‘Well then you’ll think of something. There must be something in his past that you can find or uncover that was good. Something you can use to remind him that everything broken can be fixed or else mended. Hopes incredibly powerful Stiles, its how we built this magazine and its how Jackson managed to score me as a girlfriend.’

Stiles laughed a little, ‘Thanks Lydia. As always, your advice has been amazing. And I’m sorry the thing with Derek’s modelling didn’t work out.’

‘Don’t worry about that Stiles. There’s a million Derek’s out there. Plenty more Derek’s in the sea.’

Stiles highly doubted that but laughed again anyway and hung up. He started pacing as he thought.

Something in Derek’s past life. Stiles was completely stumped, he wanted to help Derek in some way, wanted to show Derek that there was always hope. To be honest Derek’s life had been pretty shitty so far. He wasn’t sure there was much to salvage.

 

And then, suddenly, he saw it. He was throwing paper basketballs in the bin when his eye caught the mock ups for the next issue, including the magnificent picture of Derek under the full moon on the cover, the name ‘Pack Mentality’ across the top and he knew instantly what he had to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stiles didn't have a concussion btw. Derek would have told him. How are you doing with the angst? Ok? coz theres a bit more to come! Read on!
> 
> Also comments and kudos are always welcome!


	14. A magnificent picture is never worth a thousand perfect words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was also majorly in debt for Lydia not pushing the whole Derek thing. She was ruthless when she needed to be but she was also incredibly compassionate and a great best friend.
> 
> Scott, on the other hand was sketchy at best. Stiles loved him, really, but Scott was a total puppy; totally cute, and easily distracted and not entirely toilet trained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so back again! Sorry about the wait! Its been a hectic week back at uni but i finally got a chance to do this chapter :) So more Stiles, a little bit of Scott, Allison-type worry's and Isaac (mentions of Isaac).  
> Music inspiration, "Holdin' On" By Flume (brilliant song, well worth a listen if you're into Rudimental!)  
> And also 'Brighter Than Gold' by The Catwalk Empire (so much fun).

Stiles waited til the next day to do enact his plan for Derek. 

He headed into work ignoring the looks he got for the bruise on his forehead. He had better things to worry about right now then the state of his face. It wasn’t his face that mattered when it came to the magazine, it was what was behind the face and his mind, for the first time in a week, was as clear as a bell.

His phone had already started ringing off the hook before he even reached his office and Stiles sighed, he remembered the days when they first started when he was lucky to get a phone call that wasn’t Lydia harassing him. Now his phone never seemed to stop. He really needed a receptionist.

As Stiles picked up the phone he knew his plan would have to be left until his break at least.

Ever since Lydia had seen the ‘Full moon’ picture he took, every mock up for the next issue had been reordered, retouched and in some cases re-shot. It seemed like she wasn’t taking any chances with the next issue as it apparently, had the potential to ‘make’ Pack Mentality and finally get it noticed by the big fashion houses. 

Stiles knew it didn’t matter; the buzz that the picture, subsequent cover and Derek Hale had been getting over the past week was more than enough to secure the magazine as a definite mainstay and good competition.

He was also majorly in debt for Lydia not pushing the whole Derek thing. She was ruthless when she needed to be but she was also incredibly compassionate and a great best friend.

Scott, on the other hand was sketchy at best. Stiles loved him, really, but Scott was a total puppy; totally cute, and easily distracted and not entirely toilet trained. 

Right now though, for his plan for ‘Doing something for Derek’? Stiles really needed Scott’s mental capacity at full. He knew it was a long shot, but he desperately needed information from Scott, possibly regarding a former friend or at least an acquaintance of sorts from their high school.

He called him.

‘Hey Stiles! What’s up? Heard things went to shit with Derek. That totally sucks dude, he was one in a million that one. Also did you hear about Allison’s aunt?’

It was all said all at once and Stiles tried to unravel it all. He tensed when he heard Allison’s name, ‘The one that they never talked about that went to the psych hospital?’

The moment he said it, Stiles face palmed, he shouldn’t really have known that. Thankfully Scott didn’t notice anything amiss (Stiles sometimes had the feeling Scott just thought Stiles was a complete genius, it usually frustrated him, but today he was more than thankful his friend’s confidence in him).

‘Yeah, apparently she’s missing.’

Stiles stomach dropped a little. Shit, and he’d called Allison to ask about her aunt a few days ago, which was completely suspicious now that he looks back at it. Shit.

‘Do you know when they declared her officially?’ Stiles tried to ask casually.

‘Like a month ago? She like never started going to her appointments so they knew something was up and then they checked out her planned living arrangements coz she had to live with someone to make sure she wouldn’t go, like, crazy? Again? I suppose. And apparently she lied and never made real ones.’

Fuck, ok. He just had to talk to Allison, tell her an abbreviated reason as to why he called her. That’s all he had to do.

‘How’s Allison?’

‘She’s OK. She said she never really knew her aunt coz she lived like so far away from her own family. Her dads pretty cut up about it though apparently. Allison said he blames himself. It’s OK though, I’m there to support her.’

Stiles smiled into the phone and realized that’s why he loved Scott. Scott was a good best friend too.

‘OK. Thanks for telling me, I’ll keep that in mind. I, um, just had a quick question for you.’

‘Shoot.’

‘So you remember back in high school when you played lacrosse?’

Scott snorted, ‘More like bench warmed, but yeah whatever. What about it? Is this about Danny again? Because dude, apparently he has a thing for you now. You should totally hit that.’

What? ‘What? No, Scott, concentrate! Do you remember another guy that was on your team. Isaac Lahey? He would have been older then you.’

‘Yeah, dude, of course I remember Isaac. Everyone does, they thought he killed his own dad or something stupid. Isaac wasn’t like that though. He wouldn’t have killed anyone, he was too nice.’

Stiles detected a hint of wistfulness about Scott’s tone of voice. Interesting.

‘Um yeah, so Isaac was good looking right?’ Stiles actually had no idea, all he could remember of Isaac's face was a permanent set of bruises that seemed to mar it constantly. He was hoping Isaac was good looking. This plan wasn’t really going to work if he wasn’t.

‘What? Oh yeah, fuck, yeah he was. He had like these baby blue eyes and killer cheekbones. Facial structure was amazing. And tall too, good legs. And broad. Nice hair too. Why?’

Stiles sat a little stunned, either Scott had harbored a very secret crush on Isaac Lahey or Stiles should get Scott a job as his talent scout, like now. Or possibly both. Because that description was very vivid and very colorful, he almost felt like actually thinking about hiring Isaac, like he was actually pretending to do at the moment.

‘Oh you know, just this stuff with Derek’s left me needing some new talent. Just remembered him in high school. Though he might have had the ‘look’, you know?’

It was a shaky excuse at best. Stiles prayed Scott was having a non-perceptive day, he really didn’t want to have to explain werewolves to Scott or why Derek might have an interest in Isaac seeing as he is his alpha. Not today at least.

Stiles could almost hear the cogs turning in Scott’s mind as he thought and exhaled in relief when Scott’s voice came back through enthusiastically, ‘Dude. That’s like the best idea ever! I haven’t seen him in a while but I think I might still have his number in my phone! This is amazing! Do you think he’ll want to come model for us?’

Stiles tried to instantly backtrack, ‘Ah maybe? But he’s probably all grown now. Not so pretty anymore. I just wanted to check.’

‘Nah, dude, he’s on Facebook. Wait a second.’

Stiles dutifully waited as Scott tapped away on his laptop. And jumped when Scott’s voice yelped out, ‘Fuck, dude, he’s like beautiful. No Derek Hale, but there’s definitely something otherworldly about him.’

Stiles had already jumped on Facebook and found him much quicker than Scott had. 

Whoa, Scott was right.

Either becoming a werewolf made you inhumanely attractive or Kate just liked the pretty ones because there was no way it was a coincidence that these two guys were too good looking for their own good.

Stiles sighed into the phone, ‘Yeah give me his number. I’ll get the rest of his contact details from his page.’

‘So you’re going to do it?’

‘Maybe. But you know the shit that guy went through in high school. People who suffer that kind of trauma usually want to stay out of the spotlight. I can’t promise anything.’

Scott sighed as he recited the number off his phone, but Stiles knew he was right, despite the fact that he hadn’t intended to get Isaac to model for them in the first place he had enough experience with Derek to know not to push things like that.

He hung up and stared at the number in his palm as he wrote down Isaac’s address, which surprisingly and awesomely was in LA. That would make things a bit easier. 

Now for the second part of his plan Stiles thought. And this was going to be a bit harder. The letter. He was originally going to type it, but he though handwriting it would seem more personal so Stiles quickly grabbed a pen and paper and started writing, ignoring how ugly his chicken scratch hand writing looked. It wasn’t about how it looked, it was about what was written.

The letter was only a page, but it was enough. He copied out the contact details on the bottom, folded the letter up and stuck it in an envelope. It stayed on his desk all day. And Stiles was itching to open it and re-write it. But he didn’t. He knew he should leave it. He knew what was written in there was what he wanted so say, the truth. And what he needed to write. It didn’t even matter if Derek read it or not, at least Stiles would be at peace that he had done something. 

After he did that he pondered what to do about Allison. She had been pleasant to him all day and hadn’t even mentioned the phone call. Maybe he was overreacting? Maybe she had forgotten? He hoped she had. He didn’t want to have to explain or give up any of Derek’s secrets. They weren’t his to tell. 

So finally, after much agonizing, he decided to let it be. His dad had good lawyers anyway. 

Finally the phone calls stopped and Stiles was able to leave with his letter.

Stiles was shaking as he drove the way he had subconsciously memorized to Laura and Derek’s apartment block and exhaled in relief when he saw the Camaro missing from the driveway. They must be out. That was good, that would make things a lot easier for Stiles.

He grabbed the envelope, which had started nice and white and now looked a little crumpled and dirty. Oh well, at least who it was addressed to was clear. Derek’s name was written in capital letters across the back and Stiles stared at it, memorizing the lines, searing them into his brain as he walked to the letterbox. Without losing his nerve he stuffed it in the right number (he hoped it was the right number, his eidetic memory might have failed him just this once), hunched his shoulders and made it back towards his car, slumping in his seat when he peeled out of their street.

Stiles didn’t notice that the curtains ruffled when he got out of his car, he didn’t notice the eyes staring a hole into his back as he dropped the letter into the slot, he didn’t hear the door snick slightly open as he walked back to his vehicle. 

And when he went to sleep that night he most certainly didn’t hear the distant almost unnoticeable, lonely howl of a wolf. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silly boys. 
> 
> Tell me what you think, constructive criticism, compliments, ideas. I'm open to them all, and i'll try to get back to everyone :)


	15. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek Hale, without even trying, had become a massive sex symbol in not only the fashion world but all over the US. This was confounded by the shroud of mystery that surrounded him. No one knew where he lived, no one knew how to contact him (except for Lydia and Stiles who guarded his details with their lives) which subsequently made Pack Mentality and Stiles’ pictures of him an enormously hot commodity. Jackson, who hadn’t even met Derek, had been insanely jealous. Stiles tried not to feel too smug about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so you might have noticed I've added a chapter. Next chapter will be the last proper chapter and then I'll write an epilogue :) So in this chapter we've got lots of feels, Derek and Stiles feels and some Scott feels and lots of Scott's mum feels.
> 
> Song inspiration: 'Not Giving In (FEAT. John Newman and Alex Clare)' by Rudimental  
> also - 'Wish You Were Here' by Delta Goodrem (super sad and beautiful - listen to it!)

It had been six months.

Six months since the ‘full moon’ issue. 

Six months and Pack Mentality had become a stalwart in men’s fashion. 

Six months and they had just moved into new headquarters, six months and Stiles had finally gotten a receptionist. Her name was Melissa and she was pretty brilliant. She was also Scott’s mum. Scott said he hated that his mum worked in the same building as them, but Stiles knew that secretly he loved it. Melissa was always bringing in scrummy chocolate chip cookies that she was constantly trying to feed to Stiles’ models because apparently, ‘they were too skinny and needed fattening up.’ Stiles couldn’t disagree and tried to make sure his models ate right.

Six months on and Stiles was constantly being headhunted by other agencies and other magazines. It was pretty flattering to be honest and if he didn’t love his job as much as he did or his colleagues, he would have taken up one of the many of the overseas job offers he had been given, especially the one in Paris. As going to work overseas had always been his eventual goal. But he didn’t. He tried not to look too much into the reasons he didn’t. He’d tried to cut down on his obsessive thoughts about Derek these days and was finally succeeding.

It had been six months since he had seen Derek. Six months since that absolute disastrous week. Six months since he gave Derek his letter.

He tried not to dwell. He wasn’t a dweller. He expected them never to be in contact again. He expected that his letter would be it. He expected silence. He had just done what he thought was right, he made sure Derek knew how to find his pack.

That didn’t mean he didn’t hate it.

There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t think of Derek, or Laura. And no matter what Lydia said (or Scott or Allison) he wasn’t pining. Pining wasn’t possible. He had been sad, yeah. He had been miserable at the swanky celebration party they had for ‘his’ issue (Lydia had dubbed the full moon issue ‘Stiles’ Issue’ which was pretty cool) he just didn’t have the energy to care as much as he would have a week ago. It all seemed a bit silly now.

It was just hard for someone like Stiles to get over someone like Derek, no matter how hard he tried. It was even worse that he constantly saw his picture of Derek everywhere, constantly reminding him of what he lost, or what he hadn’t actually had in the first place.

And it had been horrible for the first few months when the issue had been still in circulation, once on his way to work when he had saw the first Pack Mentality billboard with the picture he had had to race home, only to have a panic attack and have to call in sick. It had not gotten better as the months wore on, but easier to deal with. 

Scott had been on his back about the whole Isaac thing as well and Stiles had to say he had changed his mind and said he’d use Danny instead. He had gotten the silent treatment from Scott for a week, which was really annoying because Scott was his PA, until Melissa marched a sullen Scott into Stiles work and demanded Scott apologise. Scott had and Stiles had promptly asked Melissa whether she wanted a job or not working for him. Awesomely she had accepted and now, thanks to Scott, Stiles had the most efficient, wonderful receptionist in the whole office. 

He knew Scott wouldn’t let it go though, if his constant puppy eyes were anything to go by. But Stiles knew, even if he wanted Isaac, he couldn’t ask him to come work for him. He didn’t know whether Derek ever contacted Isaac or not but he wanted to be on the safe side, so he just didn’t go there.

Scott had told him that Allison’s aunt had been officially declared dead even though they never found her body. The police said that because of the lack of communication, history of mental illness, the absence of money withdrawal or usage of her account and a thorough search for her body, they had to declare her officially dead. When Stiles heard that he had sighed with relief. At least Derek’s secret was safe.

Allison had never asked him about that phone call either which also helped ease his anxiety. 

It had been an incredibly stressful six months, he had lost weight, he knew. His cheekbones had become more prominent and his eyes sunken. He had started experiencing insomnia and bouts of depression. Melissa had noticed it first, she realised the moment she saw him that he had changed since she knew him back in Beacon Hills and urged him to see a doctor. He hadn’t. Scott had noticed too, as had Lydia and they had constantly been pestering him to eat more, sleep more, take the afternoon off, don’t work so hard, go out and meet new people. They didn’t realise though that work was the only thing that tethered him. If he didn’t have work, he wasn’t sure what he would do. 

He worked more in the past six months then he had in the past three years. His reputation had grown exponentially and experts in the industry practically fawned over his artwork, they weren’t called shots or pictures anymore, but artwork, ‘masterpieces’. He had even been approached by several galleries asking him if he wanted a show. He hadn’t turned them down nor had he taken them up on their offers. 

Eventually he started going out again, more to appease Lydia and Scott then anything. Lydia had hosted a party and had practically forced him to go and to his surprise Danny, as in high school lacrosse crush Danny now turned successful model who occasionally worked for Stiles, Danny, had actually been flirting with him. 

That was a turn out for the books until he saw Lydia smirking at them from where she had been chatting with other editors and he glared at Danny,

‘I’m not some charity case Danny. And I don’t want you to talk to me just because Lydia put you up to it.’ 

Danny’s grin had faltered and then he looked embarrassed. That had been enough for Stiles and he had started walking away. 

Danny though had grabbed his arm to keep him from leaving, ‘Stiles! Wait! I’m sorry, OK? I- well Lydia told me you were having a hard time getting over this guy and all she did was ask me to help boost your confidence.’ 

Stiles’ face had burned with mortification, Danny had winced when he saw him, ‘No, no, it’s not like that. It’s just that, look, I never really knew you in high school OK? And when I started working as a model, Lydia hired me one night when we met up for cocktails and she got a bit drunk and let slip about your crush you had on me. Which was really flattering because I – well I like you too. I had since the first time we worked together. You’re a great photographer, you’re a really nice guy and you’re really cute, I just never thought I’d have a chance with you and when Lydia said you needed to be cheered up I offered to – do that – cheer you up.’

Stiles had gaped a little, he was first pissed at Lydia telling Danny about his high school crush, and secondly he was completely gobsmacked that lovely Danny actually, somehow, liked him. Well that had been an interesting night.

He had agreed to go out with Danny and Danny had been perfect. And if Danny had have said all this before Stiles had met Derek? Well Stiles would probably be in a very loving and stable relationship right now. But his crush on Derek had ruined him for anyone else as he reluctantly told Danny over their third date. Danny had been wonderful about it, he had said that it was disappointing because he really liked Stiles and if it didn’t work out between him and this guy (he said ‘this guy’ even though everyone knew it was Derek) Stiles should give Danny a call. 

Stiles now knew why everyone loved Danny.

Lydia had been wonderful about the whole ‘not contacting Derek’ thing, even though he knew it must have been hell for her to ignore her money making instincts, because Derek would have made them A LOT of money. Except something very interesting had started happening, something that made Lydia very happy. The ‘full moon’ picture of Derek had been, as expected, incredibly successful and Lydia fended off phone calls about him for weeks, which had not only made Derek extremely mysterious but had made their sales skyrocket. Derek Hale had become a celebrity overnight even though there was next to nothing known about him or his family. A few articles had been able to uncover his parent’s death but much else. Stiles had been relived that there had been nothing more.

Derek Hale, without even trying, had become a massive sex symbol in not only the fashion world but all over the US. This was confounded by the shroud of mystery that surrounded him. No one knew where he lived, no one knew how to contact him (except for Lydia and Stiles who guarded his details with their lives) which subsequently made Pack Mentality and Stiles’ pictures of him an enormously hot commodity. Jackson, who hadn’t even met Derek, had been insanely jealous. Stiles tried not to feel too smug about that.

It had been six enormous months and Stiles was finally, incrementally getting better. Danny had helped, Lydia too but Melissa the most. Melissa had been the mother figure he had been missing in his life since he had been 9. She had been incredibly supportive even though Stiles couldn’t tell her everything.

It had been so hard not to contact Derek. He knew he could if he wanted to but something held him back? Fear? It might have been fear, fear of what Derek would say, whether he would even pick up, what Derek’s response had been to his letter, fear of rejection, again. Stiles had a massive fear of rejection. But it was something else to. Somehow he knew that he shouldn’t, that this wasn’t about him, this was about Derek and no matter how selfish Stiles was, Derek and Derek’s recovery was more important. It hurt like a bitch though, it hurt mourning someone who hadn’t died. You knew they were out there but you couldn’t do anything about it.

It had been six months, Stiles thought as he surveyed his newly unpacked office, clutching his morning coffee. Six months so much had happened and changed, yet some things still remained the same. Scott for one thing, Stiles thought as Scott bounded through the door, excitement and apprehension on his face. Never a good combination when it came to Scott.

‘What have you done, Scott.’ Stiles asked warily before Scott could even open his mouth.

Scott gaped and then looked a little offended, ’Nothing!’

‘Scott.’ Stiles said in his best ‘don’t bullshit me’ tone of voice, usually only reserved for Scott.

Scott huffed, ‘Fine, I have a really awesome idea and just need you to come with me and not ask any questions til we get there ok? Can you trust me?’

Stiles was going to turn him down immediately until looked at his friend’s hopeful expression, damn those puppy eyes he though as he sighed, ‘Fine, I trust you.’

Scott grinned, ‘Good, this is going to be good. We have to drive there.’

Stiles collected his jacket and followed Scott out of the building and to his car. The new offices were located almost in the center of Los Angeles, nice and close to Stiles’ apartment block. Scott drove them toward the outskirts for about 30 minutes until he stopped in front of a nice double story villa. 

Scot kept looking at Stiles with equal parts guilt and excitement and it was making Stiles uneasy.

‘This has nothing to do with Derek right?’

Scott rolled his eyes as he hopped out of the car, ‘No. Would you just trust me?’

‘Fine.’ Stiles huffed as he stepped out after Scott and followed him up the steps to the door.

Scott rang on the doorbell. Scott looked nervous now, too, that didn’t exactly inspire confidence in Stiles.

No one came to the door, so Scott rang again. This time there were muffled footsteps and then the door opened.

It was Isaac Lahey. 

If Stiles hadn’t been frozen to the spot he would have turned on his heel and walked away. But he didn’t.

Not noticing Stiles mini freak out, Scott started speaking, ‘Hey Isaac! I know it’s a bit of a surprise but I’d thought I’d bring Stiles down today because Stiles is a fashion photographer but he used to go to school with us too.’

Isaac looked a little awed, confused and scared all at once, a bit like Bambi Stiles noticed vaguely in the part of his brain that wasn’t currently chanting ‘Derek’ in his head.

But Isaac nodded, ‘i-I remember.’

Really? Stiles now felt incredibly guilty for barely remembering him.

‘Oh cool, well you know how I told you we worked at Pack Mentality? Well Stiles needs new models and we thought we’d come down and see if you have what it takes.’

Stiles rounded on Scott, ‘what the fuck?’ He hoped he said with his eyes, Scott looked a little guilty, but determined and said back, ‘deal with it’ just as firmly with his own stare, and Stiles sighed. He hoped to god that Derek wasn’t here. He couldn’t see the Camaro in the driveway which was a good sign and hell, he was probably freaking out for nothing, he didn’t even know if Derek even contacted Isaac in the first place.

‘Uhhh yes! That’s me! Talent scout and fashion photographer!’ Stiles said back to Isaac, grinning what he hoped was a convincing smile. Scott beamed at him.

Isaac looked taken aback by his chipper attitude but smiled, cautiously optimistic, as he led them inside. Stiles tried not to be too conspicuous about looking about the place for Derek. There wasn’t, it was as neat as a pin, obviously pricey but otherwise empty. He sighed in relief and simultaneously felt a tang of disappointment. 

He was an idiot.

As they followed Isaac inside Scott mouthed, ‘See I told you’ to Stiles as he gestured at Isaac's topless torso. Scott did have a point. Isaac looked even better up close then he did in his Facebook. He had lovely long clean lines, not as muscly as Derek but beautiful none the less. His eyes were clear and piercing but he also had a feeling, as Stiles liked to call it, like Jackson’s confidence and almost cockiness that made him so popular as well as Derek’s intensity teamed with his vulnerability. Isaac had a certain openness and warmth about him and Stiles could see why Scott was smitten. Isaac could be very popular.

‘So you guys have chatted on Facebook then?’ Stiles asked conversationally as Isaac gestured for them to sit down.

‘Yeah!’ Scott said enthusiastically, ‘We were kind of friends in high school and then when you mentioned him ages ago I thought I’d get back in touch.’

Isaac eyed Stiles curiously and Stiles noticed his nostrils flair, as if he was sniffing him. Shit, he hoped he didn’t notice his scent or recognise it somehow. Stiles dismissed the thought as soon as he got it, it had been six months, Derek was not pining, nor would Isaac know his scent. 

‘I don’t have like a portfolio or anything.’ Isaac said quietly, ‘But I’m just bar tending at the moment so it might be nice to do something a bit different.’

Stiles looked at Isaac. He was pretty special and would appease Lydia who he knew still kind of blamed him for the whole Derek thing, even though It made her lots of money. And at this stage he was pretty sure Derek had never gotten in touch with him, which made him kind of depressed, but at least if he hired Isaac he wouldn’t have any Derek related trouble.

Plus Scott looked like he really liked him from the puppy eyes he was currently making that Isaac seemed oblivious to.

‘It’s ok, I have my camera here now if I could just take some shots? I would have to ask my editor but I recon she would jump at the chance to have you.’

Isaac smiled a nodded shyly. Wow he really was adorable Stiles thought as he got his camera and started snapping. His blue eyes translated beautifully to the pictures and Stiles caught the warmth and the openness but there was also an understated strength that translated as well. Lydia would be pleased.

Stiles and Scott had been so busy clicking through the photos that they didn’t hear when someone entered the house and didn’t notice when the door the kitchen opened. Stiles first looked up when Isaac made a faint strangled noise, Isaac wasn’t looking at him though, but at the door.

Stiles was still looking at Isaac when Scott, looking behind him in awe blurted out.

‘Holy fuck! It’s Derek Hale. You found Derek Hale’

Stiles whipped his head around so fast he thought he might have gotten whiplash.

It was Derek Hale.

Derek Hale in the doorway dressed in only hastily pulled on sweatpants.

Derek Hale, who looked like he’d just woken up.

He jumped when heard Scott’s choked, betrayed voice next to him.

‘Isaac, I thought you were single.’

Derek looked like he had just been caught, like a deer, in the headlights.

Stiles swallowed as he looked in between Isaac and Derek and instantly made the connection. No wonder Derek had never contacted him. He didn’t have to. He had Isaac. Isaac who he lived with in the same house. Isaac who was also a werewolf. Isaac who was a member of his pack. And Isaac who had a similar fucked up life. 

Stiles couldn’t even begin to compete with that level of fuckupedness.

He felt sick and guilty and angry at himself at the same time. Angry at himself for being jealous and petty. Derek deserved happiness. Fuck they both deserved happiness. And if they found that with each other then he should not begrudge them that. 

It didn’t stop him though, from the feelings of inadequacy coursing through his body. 

He hadn’t been enough for Derek. He knew deep down that that had been always the case. It didn’t stop it from hurting again, deeper this time because he could see in his eyes how much better Derek looked since the last time he saw him. 

And it hurt because it hadn’t been Stiles that had done that to Derek, it had been Isaac.


	16. We look for beauty in all things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek looked momentarily pleased, heartened, then suddenly the smile slipped off his face, as if he had finally understood what Stiles had said.
> 
> Suddenly Derek’s hands were cradling Stiles’ cheeks, forcing him to look up into his eyes. Stiles caught his breath. Derek’s expression was unbelievably tender and Stiles could barely look away before Derek’s lips were on his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the official final chapter  
> There will, however, be an epilogue posted soon(ish).  
> I hope you have enjoyed this journey as much as i have and i hope you like this ending :) I, of course, own nothing to do with Teen Wolf or the characters I've written about.
> 
> Music inspiration for this chapter, 'It's Time' by Imagine Dragons and 'Beneath Your Beautiful (featuring Emeli Sande)' by Labrinth.

Stiles hadn’t even realised what he had been doing but he was blindly halfway out the front door before strong hands gripped his him by the upper arms.

‘Stiles! Wait. Let me explain!’

Stiles whirled around, it was Derek. Derek, who had unfortunately put on a shirt.

Stiles’ heart was in his throat, ‘No, it’s OK Derek.’ 

He couldn’t look him in the eye and hated how broken his voice sounded, ‘You don’t have to explain anything to me. We were just here for Isaac, that’s all, we were leaving.’

‘No, Stiles, I need to expla - would you just look at me, please!’

Stiles jumped at the frustration in Derek’s voice, and lifted his eyes to look Derek’s square on.

Derek did look better, he looked healthier and the dark rings under his eyes were gone Stiles noted vaguely. He even had a tan. 

Fuck, Stiles couldn’t do this, not now, not with the pleading look in Derek’s eyes.

‘You look good.’ Stiles said softly and Derek flinched as if he expected shouting.

‘You always look good.’ Derek replied, his eyes locked on Stiles’ face. 

Stiles inwardly scoffed, he didn’t know what Derek was seeing right now because he knew he looked like shit.

‘Um well. You were going to explain?’ Stiles said clearing his throat, tempted to look away from Derek’s gorgeous eyes. 

It was weird though, now that he had been practically begged to look, he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from Derek. It might have been the fact he hadn’t seen Derek in half a year, or the fact he might never see him again. But there was a strange intimacy in staring into someone’s eyes, drinking them in as if Stiles had been starving for Derek’s face.

Derek seemed to take a breath at Stiles’ prompt.

‘Werewolves are complicated.’ Derek started, scrubbing a hand through his bed hair, which looked unbelievably sexy. Stop it Stiles, this was not a time for objectification.

Stiles nodded, he kinda got that. But he couldn’t stop his heart from dropping into his stomach.

‘We need pack.’ Derek continued.  
‘I know.’  
‘You know?’ Derek looked surprised.

‘I researched. After I found out. Just wolves and stuff. There’s not really much available information on werewolves that didn’t contain porn. But I figured you would have a lot of common with normal wolves.’

Derek looked heartened, grateful even, Stiles tried to not look too much into that, he still couldn’t get the image of perfect Isaac and Derek together, having sex, and jumped when Derek answered him, ‘We do, yes. Including the concept of a mate, or a partner for life’

Stiles lowered his eyes, looking at Derek through his eyelashes, ‘I know that.’

Derek looked frustrated at himself, running his hands through his hair, as if he couldn’t get the proper words out.

‘I got your letter.’ He blurted out, finally.

‘Yeah, I gather. Seeing as your living with Isaac.’

Mates for life. Isaac and Derek. Why be with Stiles when you could be with your own kind, and pretty as well, prettier than you, his mind said snidely.

‘Yeah.’ Derek said, his eyes alight with something akin to happiness. And Stiles felt like walking away right then and there. 

He had never seen Derek look like that before. He looked like he should be. Not burdened by horrible secrets, not weighed down by guilt.

‘And I’m happy for you Derek. I – I understand about pack and how important they are to wolves. I’m glad your happy with him. That’s all I ever wanted.’

NO, no, no you’re not, his mind was chanting at him but Stiles ignored it. 

Derek looked momentarily pleased, heartened, then suddenly the smile slipped off his face, as if he had finally understood what Stiles had said.

Suddenly Derek’s hands were cradling Stiles’ cheeks, forcing him to look up into his eyes. Stiles caught his breath. Derek’s expression was unbelievably tender and Stiles could barely look away before Derek’s lips were on his. 

It was a gentle, chaste kiss but it still made Stiles head spin, blanking it out urging Stiles to seek more, and Derek was more than willing to give him more.

Suddenly Stiles broke away, chest heaving, he gasped out, ‘What about Isaac?’

Derek looked puzzled, ‘What about Isaac?’

‘Y-you guys are living together. You’re pack! Mates for life!’

Derek looked confounded for a second and then enlightenment dawned on his features, ‘Shit Stiles. No, look I love Isaac. I do. He’s pack. But I don’t love-love him, not like that. He’s not my mate.’

Stiles’ heart gave an optimistic thump, ‘So you two, you’re not together?’ he asked hopefully.

‘No.’

Stiles felt the blood rushing in his ears, he didn’t really know what to say. It was bad because Stiles had gone through a billion different things he would say to Derek if he ever saw him again and they were going straight out the window. He was speechless. 

Derek seemed to be having the same trouble.

‘I- did - did you mean it? What you said?’ Derek asked finally, hesitatingly.

‘When?’

‘In your letter. Did you mean what you said.’

Stiles felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest, why? Why did he want to know? Did it matter now, he knew Derek wasn’t with Isaac but he still had pack, Derek never wanted and didn’t need Stiles. Why make him confess this.

But looking into Derek’s eyes he knew he couldn’t deny him this. Perhaps Derek needed it? Perhaps he needed to know that people cared for him, even if he couldn’t return the favor.

‘It’s been six months Derek.’

‘I know.’ He said quietly, accepting Stiles recriminations.

‘I didn’t know if you ever felt the same way. Fuck! I thought you hated me and after what happened in the motel room, when-when you rejected me, I gave up. I decided that I would do what I could for you and then leave it.’

‘You didn’t want to fight?’ Derek asked softly.

Stiles felt sudden anger at Derek, how dare he say that.

‘Fight? Fight for what Derek? For the faint scrap of hope that you might like me back. 6 months Derek! 6 fucking months ago I laid my soul bare for you and after the first month when you didn’t seek me out? I accepted it. I accepted you didn’t feel the same way. And that was fine. OK? I was fine with that because I was so far fucking gone that I just wanted you to be happy. To somehow make up for the fuck up that was your childhood. And now, here you are? Asking why I didn’t fight for you? I didn’t want fight because I gave you an out, I gave you up because I wanted you to be happy. And I thought that you would be happier without me. With your pack‘

Stiles took a breath, the anger quickly disappearing, ‘And now here you are, kissing me. Telling me you’ve found your pack and I don’t know ok? I don’t know what you want from me. You didn’t come looking for me.’

Derek looked and at war with himself.

‘I felt it too.’ Derek said quietly, intensely after a moment, ‘I felt it the moment I met you in that stupid Starbucks. And then I was almost grateful when Laura made me go to your photo-shoot even with all the other shit that had happened, with Kate being released. And when we were talking in the forest I just wanted to kiss you OK? You were so honest and open and kind and funny, everything I wanted to be, be with, and I was so messed up, still am, obviously.’

Stiles eyes were wide, heart beating frantically, if he was expecting anything, it wasn’t this. What was Derek saying?

‘But I could sense Kate that night, after you took me home. Near you. I lied when I said Kate called me. She didn’t. She had come looking for me and when you left I led her as far away from you as possible, I hadn’t even realised where I was going until I was right back in Sunnydale. All my wolf knew was that I had to get her as far away from you as possible. And I killed her, yes because she was rabid, but she was also threatening you. And my wolf, well my wolf couldn’t contain itself, not, not when she was threatening you. When she was threatening my m-’

Was that a declaration? Was Derek going to say mate?

‘Why are you telling me this? Why did you pull away when I tried to kiss you in the motel? Why did you never contact me? Why did you leave me to suffer! 6 months without contact Derek, six fucking months, you could have been dead for all I knew!’ 

Stiles was yelling again, getting overly emotional. He wouldn’t cry. This was not a time for crying. Derek looked stressed, miserable, accepting Stiles recriminations and when he started speaking, it was slowly, quietly.

‘I was scared. I felt like you were this bright, good, innocent thing and I was sullied. I was filth, you deserved someone better than me. And I wanted to kiss you, so much. And then when you said those things to me after we dropped you off and when you left me your letter and Isaac's contact details; I vowed that I would get better. I would talk to someone; I would attempt to get over everything that happened with Kate.’

‘So what? I was supposed to wait? Supposed to wait for you whilst you got your life in order?’

Derek looked pained, ‘No! I would never have asked that of you. I just thought that maybe, maybe in the future if I ever saw you and you were single, and on the slim chance that you still felt the same way that I could show you that I was worthy, that I was better, for you.’

So Derek had decided he was a martyr. Great.

‘You got help?’

‘I did. I started talking to someone, a-a Dr Deaton. He knows, about us. And he’s helped, a lot. He thinks that I’m getting better.’

‘I’m glad.’ Stiles said weakly, mind still whirling. 

Derek? Well Derek looked, raw, vulnerable but he’d lost the fragility that he had previously tried to hide. This Derek looked resigned, miserable, but no longer broken. ‘I know it’s been six months. I know you’ve probably moved on. I just wanted you to know that I’m getting better. And I probably wouldn’t have if you hadn’t helped.’ Derek said, gratefully, as he looked into Stiles’ eyes.

No, that’s not what had happened, Stiles, Stiles was still stupidly was in love with Derek, even this slightly less messed up version of Derek, it was nice to see the tightness gone from his eyes and the hardness s in his face softened even though it changed nothing. Stiles was still in love with Derek. As frustrating as he was and this sounded like a declaration on Derek’s part. Was it though? Could Stiles bare to believe.

‘You love me?’ Stiles said, disbelievingly looking into Derek’s eyes.

‘I am in love with you.’ Derek said earnestly back, no flinching, no hesitation.

Stiles sucked in a breath. No doubting that. Fuck that was a declaration if he ever heard one. 

Derek had done it all, all for him. All because he had been in love with Stiles. 

It was such a hard concept for Stiles, who, for so long, had thought so differently, to deal with. Unrequited love was something Stiles knew how to handle, but this? This was completely out of his realm of comprehension. 

Derek Hale was in love with him.

‘I-it’s still true. What I wrote six months ago. It’s all still true.’ Stiles said finally, in a whisper, dropping his gaze from the intensity of Derek's.

Derek let out a choked off laugh, in relief, happiness? All of the above?

‘I thought I’d lost you.’ He whispered, pulling Stiles closer.

‘Derek Hale. You ruined me. You ruined me for anyone else.’ Stiles murmured as he encircled his arms around Derek’s neck.

Derek smiled weakly, bringing his hands to cup Stiles cheeks, ‘Then I’m glad. I’m glad Stiles Stilinski that I ruined you because you ruined me from the moment I met you.’

Stiles laughed a little wetly into the kiss he was drawn into. That was so corny, but he liked it. He still couldn’t believe that this was actually happening, he felt like he was dreaming, he felt like a massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders. 

All the stress from the past six months had melted away as he melted into Derek’s kiss. 

For the first time in his life, he felt cherished, like he was worth something. It was a heady feeling and one he couldn’t suppress as he pushed Derek back against the wall, hands grasped in his shirt.

Derek thought that Stiles had saved him, but Stiles knew it was the other way around. He hadn’t known it but he had been lost before he met Derek. Derek anchored him like nothing had ever in his life.

Derek responded by deepening the kiss, pushing against the seam of Stiles’ lips, asking for access. Stiles groaned into the kiss, allowing Derek’s tongue to push into his mouth as if he were tasting Stiles, like he would never get another chance. 

Someone cleared their throat from the doorway and they sprung apart.

Isaac and Scott were in the door way, looking sheepish. Well Isaac was, Scott looked deliriously happy, about something.

It took a moment before Scott finally squeaked out, ‘So, werewolves huh?’

Stiles burst out laughing and was gratified to see Derek smiling a small smile.

Derek was really very pretty. Especially when he smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also would people be interested in a Scisaac (Scott/Isaac) continuation fic? maybe in a the same series? Let me know in comments!


	17. See beneath your beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT! Final chapter ladies and gentlemen. A shout out should go to the commenter that kicked my ass into gear to get this fic finished, finally! Thank you kind sir or lady I finished this chapter for you!  
> A thanks should also go out to everyone who gave me kudos and comments and who kept reading this fic, you guys are awesome and i hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it.  
> Inspiration for this last chapter came from Rita Ora's 'Radioactive' and 'I Believe in a Thing Called Love' by The Darkness.

EPILOGUE

Derek

Derek no longer hated being a model, in fact it was one of his favourite things to do. It wasn’t because of the money, although that was pretty good, it wasn’t for the fame, he hated being recognised in the street and tended to grow the scruff out on his cheeks and chin when he wasn’t modelling to disguise himself. It wasn’t even to piss off Jackson, although that was a good payoff.

Derek liked it because of Stiles. He liked to work in front of the camera because Stiles was the one behind it and every time he did he was reminded of that first photo-shoot when everything changed for him. He used to shy away from the memory, cringe away from what it dredged up but Dr Deaton had showed him that those kind of memories shouldn’t be repressed or ignored. What happened as with his teenage years needed to be remembered, not for memories sake but for Derek to heal, to remember that it wasn’t all bad. The fun times he had with Laura when he wasn’t being moody and withdrawn and she wasn’t working constantly, the fun times he had as a wolf running through the trees when Kate was out of town. And the memorising gaze of a photographer who stripped him bare and thought of him as something worthwhile, something to be saved. The completeness he felt in the woods under the full moon with Stiles, the control and anchorage he felt. Not once did he feel the need to shift when Stiles was there despite the full moon and despite his anger. Those were the things he remembered.

He remembers what happened with Kate that next day, not the killing, not the turmoil but his and Stiles almost kiss in the motel room, Stiles eyes filled, not with pity but with understanding when Derek told him his story. He remembers the agonizing 6 months without him, without his mate. But he remembers working through it, not for him but for Stiles so that one day he could be a little less broken, a little more worthy of Stiles’ love. 

And it’s those memories that see him through the shoots. He especially remembers Stiles’ parting words, a gift not deserved but gratefully received, a gift of understanding and strength, reiterated in the heart wrenching letter Stiles left him. After reading it he had almost driven to Stiles’ front door, with crazed eyes and jittery hands. 

Laura had held him back, ‘Do you want him to see you like this Derek? Give him space, give yourself time. It’s meant to be, and if it is he’ll wait for you.’ Derek had thoroughly disagreed with her, he wouldn’t want Stiles to wait, and he would have wanted Stiles to be happy, something he couldn’t be if he was with Derek. After that he had sunk into a depression and Laura had eventually dumped him at Dr Deaton’s office exasperated and at her wits end. Therapy had done wonders for Derek and Dr Deaton strongly encouraged him to find his pack. Within a month he had sought out Isaac, another gift to be grateful to Stiles for. Isaac had been living in a tiny one bedroom apartment that smelt of mould and had just lost his job as a supermarket sales assistant. Time hadn’t been kind to Isaac, who had been completely lost without an Alpha and who’s fucked up childhood and fucked up teenager years had left him withdrawn, skittish, despite being a werewolf, and suicidal. 

The moment Isaac had opened the door to Derek he had immediately recognised his alpha’s scent and had clutched at Derek in a rib crushing hug and a heart wrenching sob. The feeling of pack had an overwhelming effect on his as it had on Derek who had hugged back almost as tightly.

Isaac had been able to tell right away that Derek was missing another pack member, the most important one to a wolf, his mate, and bugged Derek to find him even though he didn’t know Stiles’ name. Derek had remained stubborn, almost unable to comprehend Stiles in his life, overwhelmed with his own insecurities. Who would want Derek? Emotionally fucked up and unstable Derek Hale, who barely had a pack and didn’t deserve someone as good and pure as Stiles. Stiles deserved someone whole, unbroken and unblemished, not tainted like Derek. Not tainted with sour memories from the past and an unendurable future.

It had been unbearable, helped a little by Isaac's closeness, but horrible without Stiles. So much so that Derek had begun to smell Stiles phantom scent everywhere and had felt he was being confused again by his scent on that fateful morning when Stiles was thrust back into his life. The flood of emotions that coursed through him when he saw Stiles had been overwhelming. Relief, exuberant happiness, resentment at himself, confusion, desire, embarrassment and anxiety had all shot through his body upon seeing Stiles, Stiles who had looked perfect. To have him again, to have someone you thought had been taken away from you forever had been a heady feeling.

And now Derek got to wake up next to Stiles every morning, kiss him whenever he wanted, talk to him, laugh at his jokes, work with him, tease him, nurture him, take care of him, cuddle him, love him all which humbled him incredibly. So much so that the fashion industry stopped calling him Broody Mcbroodson, because he simply couldn’t brood, not anymore, he had no reason to. He couldn’t contain the lightness inside of him, his happiness and that showed on his pictures. Some had lamented the loss but a great deal of others encouraged the change. The contained delight in his posture and face, along the plains of his cheeks and in his stance had been received exceedingly well, likening it to that of naïve youthfulness and unabashed joy the likes of which hadn’t been seen in the fashion industry, not for a very long time.

 

Derek had reclaimed his childhood, reclaimed it from Kate, from the death of his parents, for Stiles but most importantly for himself.

***

Stiles

Stiles adjusted his camera lens and squinted through it, zooming in on Derek strong jawline, catching the wry smile on his face and marvelled at what had changed in the past six months.

Not only had the magazine signed on Isaac and Danny as well as Derek but they had to, Pack Mentality had grown hugely popular. Derek in the past month had knocked Jackson off top spot of the highest paid male model in California, something Jackson was exceedingly pissed at. Isaac had rapidly grown a very enthusiastic, if sometimes scary fan base, mostly made up of young teenage girls but also the odd Granma or two. Danny had found a new boyfriend called Jeremy which somehow, again, pissed off his best friend Jackson. Basically everything pissed of Jackson, Stiles wasn’t sure what Lydia saw in him.

Scott was still staring moon eyes at Isaac. Isaac was yet to notice the love-struck guy which was a feat in itself as Scott was never and had never been subtle about these kinds of things, as his brief crush on Allison could attest to. Isaac actually seemed unaware of the effect he had on people, namely Scott but also his ravage fans. He seemed nonplussed and flustered every time he met them. But then again, everyone loved Isaac so perhaps he thought it was the norm.

And Stiles? Well Stiles was insanely in love with Derek motherfreaking Hale, and Derek Hale seemed to be in love with him too which was awesome. They had moved in together 3 months ago and Stiles had never been happier than he was right now, behind his camera, shooting photos of his glorious boyfriend. Nothing made him happier than seeing Derek smile. Not half smiling or wry smiling but full on sunbeam smile that seemed to encompass his whole face. That was Stiles’ favourite smile, mostly because it was either completely directed at himself or something Derek loved and found fascinating. Derek had also been studying English literature at College and often spouted random poetry at Stiles at the oddest times and Stiles would laugh and kiss him because not only was it completely adorable but it made Jackson fake wretch every time he heard it plus it made Derek happy and Derek deserved happiness. 

That’s not to say that Derek didn’t have his dark days. He still got nightmares, thrashing around in his bed, whimpering. Derek still got snappy around the full moon and they would fight because Stiles was not one to back down from a fight, ever, especially with Derek. If he didn’t Derek would shrivel up with guilt the next day, Stiles could literally see it happening, in the downward slope of Derek’s mouth, in the hunched shoulders, in the unsure movements. So Stiles fought against that, the encompassing guilt rather than Derek himself.

Derek still went to therapy and Stiles researched all he could on wolf packs and made sure that when they moved in together Isaac still lived close by, the same street actually which brought Scott no end of happiness. Tri-weekly dinners became a thing, he and Derek would host Isaac, Laura and Laura’s boyfriend Craig and Scott, Scott’s mum, sometimes Allison except that Derek’s nightmares were always worse after Allison nights.

She didn’t complain about being left out, not after what came to light after a series of investigations into Kate’s disappearance that brought allegations of statutory rape and abuse of minors against her. It wasn’t until that happened that Allison had questioned Stiles about that phone call, Stiles told her the abbreviated truth, saying that Derek’s disappearance that day had been because he had recognised Allison as somehow related to Kate and hadn’t been able to deal because of the abuse he suffered at her hands. Apparently it hadn’t just been Derek, Isaac and Boyd she had abused in her time at Sunnydale High, multiple men had come forward in the investigation, including Derek and Isaac, although Derek, Isaac and Boyd were the only three she apparently turned. Derek hadn’t wanted to do it, not at first but at Dr Deaton’s gentle encouragement and Stiles adamant insistence he and Isaac had come forward, discreetly, to give their statements to the police. It had been an important step for not only Derek by Isaac too, in letting go of the past. Derek’s nightmares almost ceased after that and Allison’s tearful apology on behalf of her family had led to Derek’s gentle insistence that she had nothing to apologize for. It wasn’t her or her family that had done this, it was Kate it had all been Kate. Stiles hadn’t been able to wipe the smile off his face for weeks after it. 

Laura had become like a sister to Stiles and very slowly they knitted themselves into a family, a pack that neither of them had ever had, not since that had been very small. It had been cathartic and restorative for not only Derek and Isaac but Melissa and Stiles and Scott too, all had experienced loss but all who revelled in their new found, if slightly dysfunctional family.

Stiles shook himself back to the present, snapping another photo, there was a reason, today, why he was so moony about the past and why his hands were jittery and his eyes unable to focus. They wouldn’t get much more work done today, not when he couldn’t concentrate properly, the small platinum and diamond band in his pocket currently occupying all his thoughts. So he called it a day. They were doing their photo-shoot in the woods again today, like they had almost a year to the day when Stiles and Derek had their first photo shoot, it had been specifically planned that way by Stiles and for a very good reason.

He was nervous though, exceedingly so. Scott gave his a reassuring pat on the shoulder as he went to collect the equipment and Allison waved excitedly at him from the wardrobes trailer giving him a discreet thumbs up, Stiles gave a sigh of relief, that meant everything was set up and good to go. They both knew what today was for Stiles and were excited for him. Stiles felt a little sick.

Derek, who had been quietly chatting to Isaac as Jackson stared daggers at him, looked up and caught Stiles’ eye with a grin. Stiles motioned with his head that he wanted a chat. Derek ended his conversation with Isaac and moved toward Stiles looking delicious in dark jeans and a blue Henley.

‘Good shoot?’ he asked with a kiss on Stiles’ nose.

‘Um yeah, OK. Just a bit distracted is all.’

‘Tired too, it’s almost night-time’ Derek said looking up at the moon.

‘Just before we leave I have something to show you.’ Stiles said, worrying his hands in front of him. Derek seemingly picked up on his anxiety, heck he could probably smell it it was that strong.

‘What’s up Stiles, you’ve been jittery all day.’

‘Uh yeah, I have, for good reason too. That’s why you need to come with me.’ Stiles said licking his lips as he took Derek’s hand and pulled him into the woods. Derek, looking bemused, let himself be pulled.

It wasn’t until five minutes later that Derek started to remember, ‘Hey isn’t this that same clearing…oh’

Derek broke off as Stiles led him to the exact same clearing they had been in a year earlier, except this time there were lanterns set up all around it, in the trees, on the ground, emitting a yellow glow that lit up the small setup of a picnic Stiles had arranged on a luxurious burgundy rug with champagne and glasses and cushions and a big picnic basket. 

Derek looked over awed, slack mouth and everything, ‘What’s all this for?’ he asked wonderingly.

Stiles voice shook a little as he replied, licking his suddenly dry lips, ‘It’s a celebration.’

Derek looked at him curiously, ‘Celebration for what?’

Stiles took a deep breath, ‘For this.’ He said as he bent down on one knee, ring nestled in its box open in his hand.

Looking into Derek’s eyes he said the speech he had been practising since they had moved in together, heck probably since he first met him.

‘Derek Hale. You are the best man I have ever met. Not only are you smart and funny but you’re also caring, kind and loving. When I first met you I fell in love with you. No ifs, no buts. I was fully gone. I knew that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life. The only hard part about that was trying to convince you of the same thing with me. We’ve had a bit of a rocky road and probably more to come but my life over the past year has been worthwhile living because I knew you existed in the world and when you weren’t with me for that six months what kept me going was the notion that you were out there, you may not have been with me but the love of my life existed, it was hard, unfathomably hard but I think we are better, stronger for it. Not only am I blessed to wake up in bed next to you every morning but I get to work with you, be with you, be in love with you. Because I am, completely and utterly in love with you and that’s why I’m here, down on one knee asking you to marry me. Derek Charles Hale, will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?’

Derek’s mouth was agape but then quickly turned into a beaming smile as he holed Stiles up from the ground, hugging him tight and swinging him around.

‘Yes I will marry you, you beautiful, stubborn man. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you in my life but I will most gladly marry you.’ Derek said, a little brokenly into Stiles ear.

Stiles whooped.

‘Jesus, I was so scared you would turn me down’ Stiles said breathlessly as Derek finally let him out of the hug.

‘How could I ever say no to you’ Derek growled, taking Stiles mouth in a breathtaking kiss, gentle but passionate. Lips still occupied, Stiles managed to wrangle the ring onto Derek’s ring finger clutched around his back.

Derek pulled back to look at it, his face reverent as he looked at his hand and back to Stiles.

‘Werewolves mate for life right?’ Stiles asked, grinning.

‘Yes’ Derek breathed, unable to take his eyes off Stiles’ claim on him.  
‘What about Derek? Does Derek want me for life?’ Stiles asked, voice quieter, hands gently holding Derek’s, rubbing his thumb across the ring absently.

Derek inhaled, looking sharply at Stiles’ face.

‘Yes Stiles, fuck yes he does.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment me what you liked and whether you might like a Scisaac spinoff sequel!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments! let me know what you think :)


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